Amrika aur bharat ke beech mein bahut farak hain. There everyone praised Abraham Lincoln for moving from a log cabin to the White House. Mujhe kya mila? Gaali. I began selling vegetables on Mumbai streets before acquiring some property, some land, some cars and so on. Why should I not be compared with Lincoln? That is why we can never become another Amrika!
Even though all my properties have been attached, I am feeling detached. In fact, I am writing this secret diary from an unattached property (I still have some of those). Good and bad times come to everyone, but just look at my contribution to Mumbai. I popularised vegetables in the city, particularly aloo. Before that Mumbaiwalas were not eating that many veggies. I also helped glamourise the city’s suburbs. Before I came to Bandra, only the Fort Area mattered. I acquired flats and bungalows here and because of my pioneering spirit, Bandra and other suburbs are now more glamorous than the city areas. If Bandra is now known as the ‘Queen of the suburbs’, I should be recognised as its king.
Forget about my role as the Mumbai Congress chief. I was more into family values and that reflected my true Indianness. Most of my properties bear the names of my wife, son, daughter, son-in-law and daughter-in-law and that is the true Indian spirit. I am quite happy with a log cabin like the great Lincoln. My family is also like me, they inherited my values of striving to reach the top. Look at my son, Narendra. The media discovered he worked in Jet Airways and had ground duty. It said he claimed to be a pilot. So what? Aren’t ground duties as important as those of a pilot? Ask any pilot, he will tell you he was flying only because of help from the ground staff. If Narendra explained that he had worked both as a pilot and on the ground staff, what was wrong? That showed how important he was. The media made a big noise about bullets being found in my house. I had a licence for my guns and bullets. Don’t forget that my son did his pilot training course from aer Mistral Flying School, Texas. Of course, I didn’t expect our ignorant media to know that Texas is known as the gun state in the US. Hundreds of Western novels and movies were based in Texas and one of them was even titled The Kid from Texas. I am proud that Narendra is associated with Texas.
Profitable father-son relationships are so common in Indian politics. Take the case of the Thackerays, Karunanidhis, Charan Singh, Mulayam Singh and so on. Why pick on me? Of course, I was in charge of distributing Congress tickets in the recent civic polls and, of course, our party did not do well. But that was because our candidates never listened to me and ignored certain basic tenets of electoral politics. There is a price for everyone. Don’t worry, I will be back soon. If anyone is aware of some good property for sale, do let me know.
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’
Email your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
