Anyway, that aside, this ‘Catch 272’ has got me thinking. Should I play kingmaker or be the king? An opinion poll in Bengal and Kerala conducted by two ex-KGB agents is very encouraging. Using coercion and Stalinesque third degree, they have concluded that the Left will repeat ’04. I sent the findings to Manmohan and, boy, has he and Rahul baba begun sweet-mouthing me! Incidentally, the KBGwallahs also secretly recorded Mamata’s speeches but the news channels said they didn’t find it sexy enough—well, I admit, by no stretch is she a pretty bourgeoisie! However, unfortunately, what did make news was footage of our pollsters beating up Trinamool supporters while chanting ‘Teri Nano yaad aayegi’ in C-sharp.
As I see it, it’s heady days ahead. Just think, racing up and down from the party office to 10, Janpath with the media tailing you...meeting Lalooji at his favourite chaat stall...catching up with Nitish and Naveen in disguise... secret parleys with Manmohan at India Gate. And not the least, giving those unsound bites: "We’re keeping all options open. All differences are being ironed out...." Phew! I can’t wait for it all to start.
Finally, before I sign out a reassuring SMS to Sonia: "We’re here to bury the N-deal, not to Marx Manmohan. So let’s start afresh. Tomorrow will be a ‘new clear’ day."
(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)
