Siddhant Chaturvedi: There Are Sleepless Nights When I Feel Mediocrity Is Being Appreciated So Much and Is Everywhere

Though Siddhant Chaturvedi started his acting career in 2016, he became everyone's favourite with his ground-breaking performance as MC Sher in 'Gully Boy'. Post that he appeared in films like 'Bunty Aur Babli 2', 'Phone Bhoot' and 'Gehraiyaan'. His recent release was 'Kho Gaye Hum Kahan' where he played a complex and layered character. Everyone has showered Siddhant with love and appreciation for delivering a stellar act in the Zoya Akhtar-backed film. The Netflix drama also stars Ananya Panday and Adarsh Gourav. 

Post the release of 'Kho Gaye Hum Kahan', Outlook India had a freewheeling conversation with Siddhant Chaturvedi where he spoke at length about his journey as an actor, growth career-wise and human being, working with big stars, social media and more. 

How does it feel to receive such a great response from all across the country? Also, this is your second collaboration with Zoya Akhtar. 

It feels very overwhelming because I feel Zoya extracts the best out of me. I have done movies in between and some of them didn't land also. There was a pandemic in between and the whole industry, cinema and consumer choices changed suddenly. I was new and taking the baby steps and the whole scenario changed. I was a little shaken because I had signed films before the pandemic and after the pandemic was over, the consumer taste was very different. I was thinking of how to tackle it and then I took my own time. After the failure of Phone Bhoot, I tried to contemplate and introspect and try to understand consumer behaviour and how they are reacting to what type of content and what I would want to do to put out there. So, I took that time and for eight-nine months I was not doing anything but that's the best time for an actor. Because after Gully Boy, I was just constantly working. Even during the pandemic, we were shooting for Gehraiyaan and I was back-to-back shooting films. Suddenly, I needed this pause to come back stronger as a person and as an actor. Also, I needed to grow as a person because my maturity is reflected in my performance. That was really important and everything has been really nice and I am very overwhelmed. 

People still believe in me and somebody like Zoya Akhtar, Karan Johar or Aditya Chopra, all of these people who I dreamt of working with, really support me and believe in me. Even I don't come from a very filmy or industry background and to have that at such an early age is a blessing. 

From 'Gully Boy' to 'Phone Bhoot' and now 'Kho Gaye Hum Kahan', do you think you have evolved as an actor?

Yes. You always keep evolving and that also very much correlates as a person how you are evolving actually. But you know, it's such an irony that I have always played characters before this who were older than me. For example, MC Sher was older than Ranveer Singh's character in Gully Boy.  I was 24 years old when I played MC Sher and I looked like 29-30 at that time. Then I played Gehraiyaan when I was 27 and I convincingly looked like 30-33 to be paired opposite Deepika (Padukone). So, I always played very mature roles and that is reflecting now in my performance. I really was desperate to play a character who is closer to my age and thankfully I got this film where I had to feel free and be easy and be young and cool. But at the same time, this is one of the most deepest and layered characters that I have ever played. More than an actor, I am constantly evolving as a person because they are so connected to each other that if I don't evolve as a person... actually I have given into the facade of being a star and being papped everywhere, going to events where you are only giving an award when you are attending them. Initially, I used to give importance to all these and did enjoy them a lot but then I consciously stayed away from them because I felt that my craft and art were getting affected by it. All these things will come and go but what happens on the screen is magic. I need to keep working constantly towards that magic and the only way to do that is to be normal in life. I still connect to the roots where I come from. 

Is there a fear of getting lost in Bollywood’s glitzy world where there is a constant spotlight on you?

You sometimes tend to paint a chamber around you which is a yes men chamber where people are constantly praising you and this and that. But thankfully I am blessed with some great friends who have been with me since my college days. They remind me of where I come from. I still stay with my family. Even though I have my place, I stay with my parents. I can't wake up alone. That reminds me of my reality and where I come from and I always feel I need to do more and work harder, be more disciplined and keep growing. I am actually working for the people who believed in me when I was nothing more than anything. And also the fans because they have high expectations after Gully Boy and I feel this spark again after Kho Gaye Hum Kahan. I now feel more responsible towards the next thing that I do. 

And thankfully the year which I took off was almost like a meditative year for me. I travelled and connected with my friends. I have a 19-year-old brother, I connected with him because I couldn't give much time to my family. The most beautiful thing in the world is to see your parents growing old and I realised that in the last three-four years. When I was working I suddenly realised I really wanted to watch them growing old. I don't want to miss my brother or my parents growing old. The feeling of family is the value where I come from and that really connects me back.  

The industry pressure is always on. Everybody is like do more, do this and that. I am not very much fascinated by it. 

So, you don't take pressure?

I do take the pressure. There are sleepless nights when I feel like mediocrity is being appreciated so much and it's everywhere. I know it's a facade and everything is there because somebody or an X person has to maintain stardom. But then I realised that what is this rat race. I am not running a sprint, I am running a marathon. So, I just want to keep my head down and keep working and let people connect to me more and more because, in this world where everything is showbaazi, where Instagram, this and that, I won't struggle to be relevant, I want to be rare. That's what my vision is. 

'Kho Gaye Hum Kahan' is about urban loneliness and it shows how we have become slaves of social media. How do you deal with it being a part of the show business and balance your persona and professional lives? 

I think things are changing now. I like connecting with audiences through you, events or in person. I think there are so many people and so much content, that people are tuning in and out. Yes, they are interested in your life but then in one swipe, there will be another YouTuber or creator whose content is more interesting. Now everybody is seeking a real king. That's why it's falling flat for Bollywood where the reality is lost and everybody is doing their PR and a hundred things. When Shah Rukh Khan said he is the last of the stars, nobody understood why he said that. He said it because there was this mystery and intrigue that you want to know more but you only get to know him through his characters and his visions and thoughts when he speaks in interviews rather than putting a selfie of him having coffee at Mannat. There is a beauty in his statement and it's actually poetic. Also, lately, I realised that even with Ranbir Kapoor the way he is, I highly respect the way he is low-key about everything. In one of the interviews, he said that PR is not or job. As actors, we need to maintain that mystery. 

Today, it's about talking through your work rather than where you are sitting and which you are sitting in or what you are wearing. It's a perception and facade which people also follow and get affected by it. People want a life like that. But I want to sell something else. I want to sell thoughts, genuineness and rarity. I want respect more than fame and want rare more than relevance. I am very clear about that in my life.