March 30, 2020
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Bollywood 2011

A Personal Flashback

Our resident film critic gets down to making her lists for the year

A Personal Flashback
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The year when…

  1. Big became bigger. From Ready to ZNMD onwards to Murder2, Singham and Bodyguard. First day, first weekend, first week collections kept getting shattered and bettered one blockbuster after another. So what if we didn’t care to remember most of these flicks a week after the release?

  2. Bollywood went “adult” with a vengeance. Record number of mainstream “A” films, starting with No One Killed Jessica, ending with The Dirty Picture with Delhi Belly and Murder 2 thrown in between. All big hits. Bollywood even grew up to feature a gay kiss in I Am.

  3. When Bollywood spoke bad without qualms. Remember Rani Mukherji in No One Killed Jessica saying “Tum wahan hote to g**** phatke haath mein aa jaati.” Emraan Hashmi went MC/BC in Murder 2. Delhi Belly packed in cusswords—the ‘F’ one in English and the ‘C’ and ‘G’ ones in Hindi, there was talk of testicles being cut and fashioned into earrings and a car born of the union between a donkey and a rickshaw. Meanwhile, Silk teased in double entendre in The Dirty Picture: “Holi khelne ka shauk hai par pichkari mein dum nahin!

  4. When we fell in love with fresh, new faces…

  1. Partho in Stanley Ka Dabba,

  2. Swara Bhaskar in Tanu Weds Manu,

  3. Pitobash and Radhika Apte in Shor In The City,

  4. Kriti Malhotra in Dhobi Ghat,

  5. Divyendu in Pyaar Ka Punchnama,

  6. Chandan Roy Sanyal, the Mikhail of Kaminey, packed a punch even in F.A.L.T.U.

My favourites:

  1. An inspired Gulshan Devaiah as the Kannada don Chitiappa Gowda and the inane telephone chatter (and, in turn, life) of Maya, the massage parlour girl, superbly observed and realised by Pooja Swaroop, in The Girl In Yellow Boots

  2. And the delightfully unaffected and disarmingly real woman, Poorna Jagannathan in Delhi Belly.

Seeti-taali Dialoguebaazi:

  1. Every single line of The Dirty Picture. They don’t talk in the film but throw dialogues at each other. Too many to list. In fact was there any straight, simple sentence in the film?

  2. Singham had several gems:

  1. Is khaki vardi ki kasam, ek ek ko khak kar dunga.

  2. Hamare yahan rajneeti mein system nahin hai par system mein rajneeti hai.

  3. Meri zarooratein kum hain; isliye mere zameer mein dum hai.

  4. Kutton ka jhund chaahe kitna bhi bada ho, uske liye ek sher hi kaafi hota hai.

  5. Paaltu kutte ko kahin bhi chhod do laut kar apne ghar hi jaata hai.

  1. Bodyguard: Mujhpe itna ahsaan karna ki mujhpe koi ahsaan na karma.

  2. Ready: Main zindagi mein teen cheez kabhi underestimate nahin karta: I, Me, Myself.

  3. Rascals:

  1. Jab aap zindagi ki mauj mein the, hum fauj mein the.

  2. Is kaale gulabjamun ki gori rasgulla beti kaise?

  1. Damadamm:

  1. Marriage is about redeeming your sins through suffering

  2. Break-up is like getting relief from five years of constipation

  1. Ladies vs Ricky Behl: Ungli mein saddi ki tarah lapetna

Words/Phrases 2011: Some became popular Twitter hashtags.

  1. Lillah (7 Khoon Maaf)

  2. Character dheela (Ready)

  3. Dhinka chika (Ready)

  4. Party abhi baaki hai (FALTU)

  5. Aap Ki Sewa Mein Janhit Mein Jaari (DMD)

  6. Bombaat (The Dirty Picture)

  7. Bhaag DK Bose (Delhi Belly)

  8. Switty (Delhi Belly)

  9. I hate you, like I love you (Delhi Belly)

  10. Sadda haq, Aitthe rakh (Rockstar)

Most charming line: Billi jaisi aankhon wali meow si ek ladki (7KM)
The stoical: Ratti bhar ka jag saara (Ra.One)
The naughty: Shake your biscuit (Delhi Belly)
And the controversial: Oonche se ooncha banda. Potty pe baithe nanga (Dum Maaro Dum).

Profound Lyrics of the year: #Not

Damadamm...

  1. Jab tum jaati ho, jaldi nahin aati ho, I miss you baby, like mango

  2. No touching, only seeing

  3. Hum tum train ki do patriyon ki tarah

  4. A love that has chemistry, a love that has no mystery

They gave me a rash in 2011:

  1. Omi Vaidya. The Chatur of 3 Idiots irritated all the way from Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji to Desi Boyz. Competing for the title:

  2. Raveena Tandon in Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap,

  3. Russel Peters in Speedy Singhs,

  4. the otherwise fetching Chitrangada Singh in Desi Boyz reducing herself to a poor parody of Sushmita Sen in Main Hoon Na.

  5. And Nargis Fakhri, Nargis Fakhri, Nargis Fakhri. In Rockstar

Speech disorders of the year:

  1. English cricketer Nasser Hussein spoke indecipherable Hindi in Patiala House.

  2. Was rivalled by Kangana Ranaut’s “Kwaaaater Vodka” enunciation in Tanu Weds Manu.

  3. Kangana also had problems pronouncing difficult words like “congratulations” in Rascals.

Hard-working performer of the year: Jacqueline Fernandes: She worked extremely sincerely to perfect the art of taking her shirt off and then putting it on again. And again and again. In Murder 2.

Genuine question of the year: How many times does 30 get spoken in Gul Panag-starrer Turning 30?

Bollywood Music 2011: Everyone loves Rockstar and 7 Khoon Maaf. I sidestep them entirely to offer my odd picks…

1) My most beloved melody… Tanu Weds Manu

Yun Hi… Dil hi rakhne ko kabhi, upar upar se sahi; kah de na haan, kah de na haan yun hi…

2) Another lovely one… Kashmakash

Manwa aage bhaage re…

3) The rustic beauty… I Am

Bangur jaisi duniya… Zindagi band pinjron mein kyun aaj rehti hai…

4)Gustavo Santaolalla’s Dhobi Ghat theme

5) Earworm that grew on me… Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

Isk risk… Na ataa ho, na pataa ho, kore naino mein koi aa base

6) The one that got ignored… Ra.One

Bhare Naina

7) Another that deserved more attention… Dum Maaro Dum

Jiyein Kyun

If Chhannulalji sings how can one not listen?… Aarakshan

Saans Albeli

9) Old is gold but the new works too… Shaitan

Khoya khoya chaand remix

10) The ones that blared from radio. Every day. Day after day. Till I by-hearted them…

Abhi kuchh dino se lag raha hai badle badle se hum hain (Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji)

Hona tha pyaar, hua mere yaar (Bol)

Te amo, mi te amo (Dum Maaro Dum)

Teri meri prem kahani (Bodyguard)

Dil sambhal ja zara, phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu (Murder 2)

Hale dil tujhko sonata (Murder 2)

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