Escort To Libido Land

With changing lifestyles and the advent of technology, the sites, sights and sounds related to commercial sex work have undergone several radical transformations down the centuries. From the sophisticated nagar-vadhu to tawaif, to nautch-girl, to under-age sex slaves in city brothels, to the world-­travelling escort, the woman who extends sexual pleasure in return for money and material comforts now has many avatars. The most defining feature of this new-age prostitution, however, appears to be an insistence on choice. Many educated young women, and men, are in this profession, purely out of choice.

Is Prostitution a Matter of Choice?

Ruchira Gupta, founder of anti-trafficking organisation Apne Aap, has a contrary opinion on the matter of choice. “A woman sells her body only when other vistas of earning livelihood are not open to her,” she says. How, then, does one place girls like Dina (name changed on request), a post-graduate student in New Delhi who admits to being in the profession just for the fun and money? When Dina came to the city for higher studies, she began to explore its vibrant clubbing scene, only to soon realise that her pocket money was insufficient to pay for her exorbitant wine-dine bills and concert tickets. She tried landing herself some small-time modelling assignments with lesser-known agencies, but her income clearly wasn’t enough for the aspirational lifestyle she sought. “It was purely a matter of funding my lifestyle,” she recalls. “I am a music junkie and like to unwind at classy places. But I can’t afford many of those. So I find somebody who can. I am not in a committed relationship. I see myself more as a serial dater. These days, people are hooking up with each other like never before. There are so many dating apps as well that make no-strings relationships casual and easily accessible. People end up having sex on their first date itself. When I am out with a man, I see the evening as a date and try to make the most out of it. Some guys are good, some are obnoxious. But that’s a risk I take.”         

Natasha (name changed on request), a Russian escort, accompanying a Delhi businessman to a reputed five-star hotel, shares that she came to India to be able to ensure a comfortable life for her daughter. When asked how she brings herself to like Indian men, she answers stoically, “It is work.” She is particularly happy with this client at hand as he appears to be a clean man with good personal hygiene. He also asks her politely to take a shower.

Modus Operandi

Natasha meets at least four clients every day and makes Rs 6,000 per hour from each of them. Half of that amount goes to the pimp who lists himself as a travel agent. On a typical call, she is dropped off by a driver at the hotel where the client has already pre-booked a room. She and the driver do not know each other. The client pays her the full amount in advance. She calls up the agent to confirm the receipt of payment. For the next one hour, she is with the client. If he wants to extend her stay, he has to pay another Rs 6,000 in advance for the next hour. Natasha is not allowed to share her phone number with the client. She’s also not supposed to ask him for his personal contact details. The phone she carries with her belongs to the agency and is used rotationally. If the client wants to meet her again, he needs to tell the agent about the same.

 Most escort ‘companies’ work in a professional manner and sometimes also carry out billed transactions, should the clients need them for reimbursement. There are options of using serviced apartments instead of hotels, should the client insist on an added layer of privacy. In this industry, like in pornography, women are paid more than men. Not sure if it gives the wage gap crusaders a reason to rejoice. Predictably, foreigner escorts bill higher than Indian ones.

Business Aids

Some nightclubs and pubs in Delhi-NCR have also established their reputation as haunts where “hot girls” are seen aplenty. One restaurant owner confides that he has a bunch of smartly turned out girls who are paid to “hang out” at his property to lure party hoppers. The girls may or may not be involved in actual sex work, but they do play an important role in getting him daily business. In return, the girls get to party at swanky places and network with big names. Ashwin Mushran, Mumbai-based actor who occasionally doubles up as DJ, however seems surprised at such a trend. “Is it a cultural thing?” he wonders. “In Mumbai, I’ve not yet come across this. The places I go to as a DJ or simply to grab a beer with friends get business because of the ambience and experience they offer. I’d be very surprised if owners used women as bait.”

In Delhi, the city of movers and ­shakers, wheelers and dealers, escorts are routinely used as ice-breakers, honey traps, currency as well as ­celebratory champagne. This October, a New York-based lawyer C. Edmonds Allen grabbed eyeballs by alleging that a BJP MP was honey trapped using a European escort. Allen wrote a letter to PM Narendra Modi stating that arms dealer Abhishek Verma, his erstwhile client, blackmailed the MP with visual proofs of him with foreign escorts. The politician, then a member of the ­parliamentary committee on defence, allegedly shared classified information with arms manufacturers.

Preferring to remain anonymous, a senior manager at an iconic five-star hotel in the national capital shares that during winters there is a sharp rise in the number of escorts present on his property. “Delhi winters attract a lot of travellers from abroad,” he says. “People travel for business, conferences and ­leisure. There are deals to be closed, negotiations to be opened and generous spattering of festivity in the air. People in general want to have a good time. Escorts, too, thrive during this time of the year. They get a lot of work done smoothly.”       

Do big hotels thus get a bad name for having escorts around? “Yes, hotels get branded as such. We are trained over the years to spot and restrict escorts,” he says, proudly claiming, “Most of us hoteliers can even intuit about an escort on our premises, but we deny access only when we are very sure as the stakes are really high.” He recalls how he had to profusely apologise to a leading actress who was occupying a premium suite in his hotel with her family when she was mistaken for a hooker by a ­security guard.

Confirming gender bias in the trade, the manager admits they are not trained to spot male escorts. “Very rarely do we come across women checking into hotels and bringing gigolos along.” When asked about the “bartender pick-ups”, he recalls, “As a young trainee, I was approached by a couple. The husband admitted to being impotent and wanted me to have sex with the wife, while he watched. It seemed so bizarre. They were almost sure I would fall for the idea.” The male desire is seen as ­surplus and commercial sex work is pegged firmly on this idea.

Rajeev Patra, a commercial pilot, and his wife Nandini (names changed on request), a former airhostess, share information on the sleazy underbelly of the aviation industry as well. “Most low-cost airlines do not pay the cabin crew very well and yet it is a glamorous profession for many. With the boom in the industry, girls from all kinds of socio-economic backgrounds have joined the sector. Their aspirations soar higher than the carrier they work on. Now couple it with the fetish many people have for air-hostesses and you have a full-fledged, well-oiled racket,” claims Rajeev, while Nandini pitches in, “The staff at the hotels we have layovers at is also clued in. Those who want to make extra buck share their ‘available’ hours and the clients are accordingly roped in. Dubai layovers are especially popular for this.”

“This money is liquid money,” Rajeev continues. “They don’t pay taxes for it. The going rate is anywhere from Rs 10,000 to Rs 25,000 per hour.” One wonders how much demonetisation has impacted these transactions.

He also recalls how during a layover on Diwali, while he was partying with his woman co-pilot and the cabin crew, he experienced this first-hand. The co-pilot left her house keys behind in one of the rooms the cabin crew were occupying. Fifteen minutes later, when she and Rajeev came back to the hotel and requested the front desk to let them go to the room, they were denied access. After many heated exchanges, only she was allowed to go up to the room. “She came back visibly disturbed and said that the two girls were already busy with three men. On our drive back, we joked about their promptness.” Do women feel safe during such liaisons? What if there is violence and abuse? “Well, everyone has become a lot more cautious now. If the clients misbehave inside the hotel, the staff steps in. But if the girls meet them outside, it’s far more risky, I think.”

Nature of Relationships

The men coming to escort agencies are mostly married and wish to keep their emotional and sexual needs separate. Sonali Gupta, a Mumbai-based ­psychologist and relationship ­counsellor, says most of her male clients who admit to having paid for sex say the spirit of exploration drives them towards it. “Often the partners are ­sexually unavailable for long periods, for instance, during pregnancy. Sometimes they decline to indulge in unconventional sexual acts. This is when many men explore their options outside,” says Sonali. “Orgies and multiple partner acts are unsavoury to many partners. Escorts come in as a handy option in such situations.”

Unlike the male clients, none of her female clients has ever admitted to having paid for sex. “I’m pretty sure that some women are availing the services of male escorts, but I have not yet heard of anybody even in my private circle.” How is it, then, that the internet and newspapers suggest male escorts are in high demand? Are women lying about paying up for sex? Or is the male escort industry just a scam? Or do the general squeamishness about sex in India and the high premium paid on chastity make female desire a perverse fetish?

The Gigolo Racket

Recently, a bunch of scamsters were arrested by the Delhi Police for kidnapping Sohail Hashmi, a man who reportedly sought to make some easy bucks by “massaging high-profile women in south Delhi”. Lured by online and newspaper ads, many unsuspecting young men approach these “escort agencies” and pay registration fees. They keep waiting forever for their first client, while the agency rakes in the moolah. Once conned, they do not even go to the police because prostitution is illegal in India. Moreover, who wants to be seen as an aspiring gigolo?

Amar (name changed on request) is a trainer at a gym in Connaught Place. He was unwilling to speak about his side business as a male prostitute. He ­communicated his answers through a common friend and said he was not proud of what he did, despite the money and gifts it fetched him. A quick Google search brings pages after pages of ­gigolos proffering their services to “housewives”. They come with claims of “guaranteed satisfaction”. They profess to know exactly what women want. Most of their job descriptions are tacky and rife with bad spellings and grammar. Sample these:

“I am living in Delhi and i am hot guy but looking for a hot lady to have extreme fun. I have a good stuff who can bring you in heaven.”

“Please contact for your sexual desires. only geniune females entertainted. Full satisfaction gurented.”

Some, however, are conspicuous for their lyricism. The guy on the other end wants to convince you that your sexuality is precious. No erotic fantasy, no sexual need shall thus ever be ignored. However, it is unlikely that online or newspaper ads find many takers despite the “100% orgasm and confidentiality” claims. The orgasm inequality in most committed relationships is seen being overcome through paid sex. If the husband or the boyfriend wants to fall asleep after a shudder in his loins, the woman can easily rationalise the act of engaging a gigolo to do the needful.

However, it still seems to be a minuscule percentage. With no data on this, we only rely on anecdotal evidence. A Delhi-based professional attended her friend’s bachelorette party in Gurgaon recently. There was a handsome male stripper to keep the ladies entertained. “Women touched his oiled body and ooh-ed and aah-ed,” she says. “Some were not interested in even that. Men get picked up mostly at gyms. You have a fair rapport with your well-built gym trainer. He’s a better bet than an utter stranger in your bed. Gigolos and strippers do make for good spectacle, nevertheless.”

Jatin (name changed on request), a 26-year-old aspiring model, says, “Everyone dreams to become a ­supermodel. There is such scamper for shows and assignments. We are not even paid very well. We have to sustain our looks and lifestyle. I’m considering this (gigolo) as a side vocation. You have sex and you get paid for it, what else do you want?” However, many gigolo interviews in various publications have ­highlighted that most women need more than just sex.

While the existence of the gigolo is based on women’s unmet needs in serious relationships, research has shown that casual sex has lesser chances of getting a woman to orgasm. If a gigolo does not “perform” in the time he has been paid for, is he likely to get another chance? And if it’s not about sex, why wouldn’t women look for companionship, without having to pay for it?

Law and Order

Speaking on condition of anonymity, an IPS officer in Delhi shared that in the past two years of his tenure, hardly an IPC case was registered against any woman working as an escort in his area, and even less, when it comes to women for whom the profession is apparently a lifestyle choice. Pimps, on the other hand, are routinely rounded up for trafficking girls, and occasionally even boys. Since escorts, male and female, cater mostly to a niche clientele—affluent, influential and discreet—do the police then willingly turn a blind eye to the practice? The police, in many cases, are even seen to undermine sexual assault reported by women citing “deal gone bad”. The assumptions about women espousing a certain lifestyle and sartorial choices lead to gross violations of victims’ rights. The victim may not be an escort in the first place.

Violence in the Trade

Ruchira of Apne Aap provides some ­horrifying insights on commercial sex work in India and the US. “A cursory search of sites and Facebook pages that escorts use reveal the horrors of this occupation,” she says. “Escorts share tips on what they carry to protect ­themselves (knives, box cutters, pepper spray) and give advice to each other on how to ­alleviate the pain of bruises from ­overzealous spanking and what to do when ‘scammers’ refuse to pay.” Indeed, the American Journal of Epidemiology reports a high incidence of rape among escorts as well as a “workplace homicide rate”  51 times higher than that of the next most dangerous job (working in a liquor store).

Ruchira recalls her conversation with an aspiring Bollywood actress who doubled up as an escort. The actress, she says, told her, “It made me feel worthless. They don’t pay attention to what you have to say. Slowly, I stopped paying attention to myself. And those fake smiles. I had to take an injection to unlock a spasm in my jaw. If someone slapped me or knocked me over, I would simply apply make-up over the bruise and keep smiling. In fact, pimps, hotel managers and others punish you if you cry or show any kind of unacceptable emotion. I once tried to speak about it to a reporter, but he did not want stories of tears or coercion. It was depressing, not glamorous or titillating. He kept asking me if I preferred being an escort to other jobs... I finally gave up.” The woman now runs a small shop, having never made it as an actress. She was lucky enough to go back home with no money, but no diseases and addictions either.

An escort’s is simply not a sustainable occupation, Ruchira believes, and she earns the maximum on her first day in the job. It is a myth that she can save a lot of money to take her through big expenses. In fact, escorts are constantly in debt to meet their medical expenses, pay their bodyguards and pimps, and ‘look’ the lifestyle they aspire to ­nurture, by investing in luxury goods. “Every bodily penetration has both physical and mental health ­con­sequences ranging from unwanted pregnancies, to sexually transmitted diseases, to drug and alcohol dependency used to cope with the rapes and ­beatings,” says Ruchira.

So do millions of ‘normal’ men assume that sexualised violence and aggression are okay? Do they want to feel the power of total control by ­buying a woman or simply don’t have the social skills to be in a relationship? Do they seek a good-looking trophy to reaffirm their masculinity? What does sex-buying do to the self-esteem of men? And what becomes of women’s fantasies and sexual boredom?

Ruchira signs off with this litany of unanswered questions.

(Nishtha Gautam teaches at Delhi University, writes and speaks on gender issues, and makes short films for TV.)