I am wearing a red Banarasi saree. My mom wore green on her wedding day. Two makeup artists are doing my face and fighting with my hair. I am super-stressed with tons of things happening today. It’s all lit up, from the windowpane to the building floor. It’s my wedding. The Wedding. However, the brightness is coming from the furthest distance because the star, my hero, is coming in a white Ambassador car. So Bengali as I wanted it so bad. I try to take a few deep breaths as instructed by my therapist and light a cigarette. That was not recommended by her. Rules are arbitrary. Nomita just gave me a cup of coffee. It’s chalky, but it straightens my mind and wakes me up. I am supposed to be happily tense. It’s my wedding day.
Kidding. That was a dream. But maybe I can get married now as the law will soon be by my side. Who knows? But I am hopeful. I am the queen of wishful thinking!
Coming back to reality, I am at Dr Nisha’s clinic, getting my laser treatment done to reduce my body hair permanently. I am sorting out finances for my next treatments like getting a liposuction done, and many other things. Before I get married, I want to be what I have always dreamed of. So “men are at work” and the work is in progress to make me a wonderful bride, inside and out.
I constantly look up the internet for the latest hearing about same-sex marriage which India is about to announce. And it bothers me why there are so many arguments against granting this judgment. The renditions describe hatred and intimidation. They have so much pain in them, and they are inflicting it all onto us. They are constantly trying to prove that we can never be man enough, or woman enough, to get into a solemn wedded relationship or to raise a child. It’s a fundamental grief that they are harbouring, and they can’t accept the fact that we are so powerful that we are claiming our basic rights, like marriage.
That’s why they want to break us. But they cannot. We grew up with a lot of hatred and fear and now we believe in winning things over with our calibre and love. Their fear is holding them back from being alive like us, and full of love.
I know you don’t like me. That’s because I am showing you that we are capable of a successful relationship and marriage. We are capable of being equal like you and we are proving this in the Supreme Court every day. So let us be blessed like other couples. It’s a power game on your mind and you are constantly trying to amputate us from inside with your irrational logic. We are throwing love bombs in return. Love wins, always!
For now, India does not recognise registered marriages or civil unions for same-sex couples. However, as per an August 2022 Supreme Court judgment, same-sex couples can attain rights and benefits as a live-in couple (analogous to cohabitation).
We are building the foundation of our marriage and are trying to prove to our justice system that we are worth it alongside the people who are so ready to love.
But marriage is necessary. Love is boundless, irrespective of gender, caste, and creed. It should only expand, like our career; it should never be constricted. Why should the hetero-normal crowd have all the fun? Equality is what we have always fought for, and we strived to win in every step of our lives. The feminist in me has been waking up strongly like a powered-up Pac-Man for the last few weeks. I just can’t wait for India’s massive LGBT community’s personal and matrimonial rights to be celebrated anytime soon. A glass of bubbly, please!
In the meantime, tons of guys are messaging me on Grindr, Tinder, and OK Cupid, but my mind is working overtime on how to get radiant skin and the latest facial. But I am changing, transitioning into someone I always wanted to be.
I am even getting marriage proposals. It’s funny that I never wanted to get married before. Now I want to because I want to have equal rights like my cousins, and my colleagues, like other people I know of.
My degree of desperation about marriage is a need now, it’s a right and it is bloody progressive. Yes, India has evolved. Our lifestyle has changed and so has the politics. We are openly talking about things that were taboo before.
My friend Deepa is a very pretty trans-woman. She is a top-class prostitute. She wants to get married, and the groom is ready. This event will save her life as she has always dreamt of it. In addition, they plan to adopt a child. So, she will contribute to our society by helping in controlling the population to some extent and will also end up spreading love and generosity by giving a good life to someone who needs it. Her battle for the right to life and dignity will be available to her. Imagine if same-sex married couples start adopting kids rejected by their hetero-normal parents, the world would be a different place. Love prevails, and so do the rights.
It is so painful to watch people with so much rage trying to pinpoint us as if there is something wrong with us, with the idea of marriage. Well, we are living in India with so much happening around and there’s a lot of pain in us and them.
Probably, they just want to suppress their pain by gaslighting us, which ultimately makes them happy temporarily. You must know that their hatred is a shield from the tremendous pain and insecurities that they go through their daily mundane life. We outpower them with love and that’s why they want to shut us down. But we are not afraid.
Everyone knows about marital rape and domestic violence. So why forcefully stay in a hetero-marriage relationship that is not serving any of them? I laugh at their misery, thinking maybe that’s the reason they don’t want us to get married so they can enjoy all the pain, unhappiness, and boredom.
And obviously, we have more love to give. It’s proven in history. And we are not asking for a particular kind of right. We want the rights that are given to everyone else for marriage and family. Let us be all equal. Let’s say no to disparity and to partial privileges to any group of people.
We are born fighters and we fought till here and our ride wasn’t easy. Why can’t we just bury the hatchet? The only way to do this is to say I love you, and this will break the barrier between us. Your marriage is not detrimental to mine. Neither should mine be to yours. We all can thrive together on this Earth happily ever after, sharing love and respecting each other. I am not challenging your marriage and the drawbacks, so don’t attack us.
We are building the foundation of our marriage and are trying to prove to our justice system that we are worth it alongside the people who are so ready to love. Did you see the trend? We are winning. Like I said before, love always wins. So, watch out, ready or not!
(Views expressed are personal)
Pupps Roy is an outlier who loves to love
This appeared in print as "We Are Winning!"