In the dark grimness of the dubbing room of Empire Studio, Naseeruddin Shah sits with a 20-watt bulb hanging over his head. It's as though the man's just struck an idea. He straightens a cigarette paper, crushes something in his palm and cryptically confesses it "is not tobacco". The 'grass', however, is proving greener for the thespian in England where he'll shortly be joining Peter Brook for a five-month workshop that "will most probably end in the making of Hamlet".
It may also signal the beginning of the inevitable end of his bitter marriage with Bollywood. A tie he'd sever without any regrets. So much so that when Brook called him up to ask if he'd be interested in joining an international team of great actors who didn't have a clue as to what roles they would be playing, "I immediately said I would go. I never knew what I was doing in Bollywood anyway".
Naseer hasn't seen any of Brook's productions. "They don't usually come here to India and you can't get tickets for his plays abroad. But from his Mahabharat, I can gather he is truly an original dramatist. Working for him will be very refreshing."
The two met in Mumbai. "It was just fleeting but I am flattered that he remembers me. I can't say this about many people but he truly is a great man. You don't find many famous artistes who don't talk about themselves. I am used to meeting stars who can talk only about themselves. They will pause for a moment for you to add a line and then continue making a self-portrait. It was very nice to meet someone like Brook."
Still crushing the brown substance in his hand, Naseer explains how there is such a thing as menopause in the life of every man. Ironically, the dubbing studio he is sitting in is recording a film called Prashnachinh (Question Mark). He has no answers yet, and none are forthcoming from the skull in his hand. To Hamlet it had brought back memories of his father's jester Yorick, but to Naseer the hollow cranium symbolises perhaps the hollowness and emptiness of Bollywood. "After 25 years, I realise that making a Hindi film is one long picnic. On any set, the shot is the least important thing. The attitude is to finish the damn thing and get back to gossiping. Swap anecdotes. I don't know how anyone can choose to do this kind of thing all his life. I never fit in. I knew I never fit in right from my first day in films. Frankly I don't know what my options are but I am looking at theatre very carefully." It would have been appropriate though borrowed, had he at this point said, 'To be or not to be'.
"I've felt stagnated as an actor for the last 10 years. I was always searching for a guide but never found one."
But he doesn't see himself settling outside India.
"I don't want to burn my bridges with Bombay. It's my home but I think there is nothing for me anymore as far as films go except for playing some boring father's role."
There are a few pending projects, though. Among them is a Mira Nair film. "I don't say I will never do a film again but there seems to be no role for me in the mainstream. And the bloody art film guys were always a hollow lot. These were the Marxists who sent their sons to the United States. So I don't know where I am going in films. But I see the Indian theatre as a commercial option because of late Indian plays have got a good reception in places like England and the United States."
Naseer is not the most passionate votary of the 'myth' that is art for art's sake. He will agree readily that a man has to make his money. Art born out of inherited money will die like the 'good-film' movement died, he believes. To illustrate the point, he relates an anecdote. "Omji (Om Puri) was shooting with Basu Bhattacharya when in a scene he had to say 'hmmm'. He did it so badly that I told him his 'hmmm' was pathetic. And Om said, 'For the kind of money they are paying me this 'hmmm' is more than enough." And just as everyone starts to guffaw to that, Naseer adds, "Then Basu Bhattacharya said, 'Then don't 'hmmm' at all and give me back some money'."
Point taken, Mr Naseeruddin Shah. It's the business of art that can take it to greater success.
"Parallel cinema was simply too pretentious for anyone to survive for long."
Naseer blames the media for calling novices masters. "These guys started believing they are great. Guys who didn't know which was the front of the camera and which was the back. They should have learnt how to make watchable films first before setting out to change the world. They were fools."
So at the end of the day, Naseer cannot take refuge in art either. Because even here, he doesn't belong. Brook finally may have given him some kind of a direction. He believes that there may be times when he misses films but certainly not the industry. He has nothing against silver nitrate and the medium but the people behind the megaphones confuse him. "Most filmmakers don't understand actors. They know how to arse-lick a star. And how to kick the butt of a guy who is not a star. And I have never been a star."
He admits that his more recent feud with Aamir Khan during the making of Sarfarosh has left a bad taste. "Personally I like that boy but I don't know why for some reason there was this constant friction between us. I know that he says I gave him a hard time but I really don't know where I went wrong."
He has always been accused of being snobbish. "I just badly want a film to work. That's the only reason I am there. So I get involved. But a lot of people don't like being told that something could be done better. So, there have been times when I couldn't watch my own films and had to run out of the preview theatre."
Though acting was just about the only thing the young backbencher from St Joseph's, Nainital, could think of, many times the 'gift' only made him suffer. A priest once punched him on his nose. "Because I imitated that bastard so well." And in a sense the walloping hasn't stopped for his displaying his skills in all the wrong places. But some day, he says, he'll make his own film. And he will get even.
Before that the man who has been a hero, villain, "side-kick and runner-around-trees" and everything possible on screen, is beating the retreat. Possibly for a long, long time.
And he is not parting from the stage with a gentle bow but with a raised middle finger. If he has to go, he will go his way.
