Rapes And Molestations: How To Keep Your Child Safe

You certainly cannot scare your kids into not wanting her to go to school or telling her about how unsafe the sweetest corner of her house can get because of the fear that they might get raped and also killed.

 At the same time, you don’t want them to take for granted that the staff in school or people at home can keep them protected. So, it makes sense to educate your kids about good touch and bad touch. But don’t overburden them with too much of information.

A three-year-old girl was allegedly raped recently in Madhya Pradesh. There were bite marks all over her body. Her left hand had been hacked off. The body was infested by maggots. Injury marks in her neck suggested that she might have been strangulated to death, making us think how unsafe are our children.

 The first most important thing for any child is ‘safety begins with sharing’. Child counsellor and psychotherapist from Mumbai Padma Reewari said, “Voice out and reach out is what you should teach your child. The moment the child is aware that he or she is getting bullied physically, the child should bring it to the parents or teachers notice. The parent or the adult the child is sharing with has to be open to listening to the child and addressing the problem immediately.”

Making your child aware about physical abuse should start at home, but in a subtle way. Weave it in the course of communication and don’t make it sound too scary and serious. The idea is making your child aware about the happenings around him/her.

Clinical psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany from Mumbai said: “Talk to your child about good and bad touch. It’s important to talk to the child about safety procedures outside homes and also at home. Tell them that no stranger or anyone close in the family are supposed to touch private areas of the body. Communicate with him/her about molestation and rape and how it happens. If your child is asking questions about rape and molestation, answer them patiently and discreetly. Don’t brush conversations under the carpet.”

 Emotional Connect

It is very important to be emotionally attuned with your child. The more emotional connect, you have with your child, the more the child forms a safety net at home that helps her to confide everything in you.

“Monitor your child’s activities. If your child is complaining about some stranger following them, make sure you take cognisance of the situation. Don’t dismiss it, make sure the child is not talking or interacting with unknown people on social media. Keep track of their whereabouts,” Hingorrany added.

Open Communication

Brief your child on the fact that in case, any stranger acts in a funny manner, tell your child to immediately call you up or raise voice on the road.

“Teach them methods not to submit passively to the sexual bully. Make the communication interactive than being preachy. Don’t over expose the children to good and bad touch. Parents need to also improve their listening skills,” Hingorrany said.

To this Rewari added, “Do not disconnect with your children. Know their friends and their hangouts. Be a good listener and prioritise this always. Early years of school going kids are crucial and the parents can educate their child on safety measures and how to protect them.”

Rewari mentions that there should be a code word for the kid and parents in a public place where the parent should immediately sense danger. Gain your child’s confidence so that he can share anything openly with you and give him or her confidence for complete support. Parents have to be alert and understand signals of behaviour pattern of their kids. If there is a sudden change in behaviour like extreme quietness, lack of appetite, or crying without a reason, one needs to intervene, take the child into confidence or seek professional help.

No matter how busy you are, as parents you should make it a point to attend all PTI meetings. Parents should be aware about what is happening in school.

“If the child reports any situation in which a brief molestation has taken place in school or in any hobby classes, support your child by taking it up with concerned authorities, before it gets out of hand,” said Hingorrany.

Mother of two Ranna Desai said: “There are days when I am really tired, but I make it a point to sit down with my children and discuss with them about what has happened in school and whether it was a good or a bad day. And also if all was fine at home.”

Do not leave your child alone at home with a male servant unless you are 100 per cent sure of your child’s safety. Parents should equip their children with self-defence strategies and an awareness of its importance.

“Teenagers going out alone should take safety measures by carrying pepper spray, emergency contact number (friend’s number) to be shared with parents,” Rewari said.

What schools can do

Teachers through stories should tell them the skills of communication where one need not necessarily touch or feel anyone to put across any message. Delhi academic Suparna Sinha said, “They should be taught to outsmart the men who try to bring them close and cuddle them. As teachers we should teach our children to say a blunt no to strangers when they give chocolates and ice-creams to come close to a child.”

Street plays can be done by teachers in the morning assembly and that will have an impact on the tender minds, since children treat teachers as demi-gods.

“Questionnaires can be worked out at the end of the sessions. As some homes still have taboos where a lot remains unsaid hence it should be the onus of the schools and teachers to do the needful,” added Sinha.