World-renowned Ms Yung Soy Luu Kui was sentenced to a further 18 months of confinement by the Miramar government after a 72-year-old American swam across a large lake and spent two days at her home. The man received a 7-year jail sentence but was soon released after the US intervened. This bizarre episode now appears closed, but some pressing questions persist. Can you, dear reader, shed some light by selecting the right answer from the multiple choices below:
Q1. Why did the American cross the lake?
a) To complete his assignment: ‘How I spent my school vacation’.
b) To ask the lady how she spelt her name.
c) None of our business.
Q2. How could a 72-year-old have swum the alleged quarter mile?
a) He hitched a ride on the back of a crocodile.
b) He thought he was Michael Phelps.
c) Lake? What lake?
Q3. Had they met before?
a) Yes. They had fought side-by-side in the Boer War.
b) They once took a stroll across the Bridge on the River Kwai.
c) No, but the Yank likes to meet new people.
Q4. What did the two talk about?
a) She said, “Let’s get you out of these wet things”.
b) He explained to her the Mormon practice of multiple wives.
c) This and that.
Q5. Why didn’t she call her guards for help?
a) She wasn’t on speaking terms with them.
b) High-born Miramar ladies do not raise their voices.
c) They needed a fourth bridge.
Q6. What did the ram during his 2-day visit?
a) He had the ruin of Luu Kui’s wardrobe.
b) His Samsonite valise eventually arrived.
c) His birthday outfit.
Q7. Why was he summarily awarded a 7-year Sentence?
a) He appealed for pardon from the “Miramar King” and not “The Exalted Committee of Generals.”
b) His swimming disturbed the spirits of drowned civil protesters.
c) He asked if the beer was safe to drink.
Q8. How does Ms Luu Kui look so fresh despite years in confinement?
a) She applies a beauty cream made from wall moss and lichen.
b) She intones an ancient mantra “I am not going looney.”
c) She picks up beauty tips from old issues of Femina.
