Dear Hayden,
Tough luck, Marciano.
But heck, perhaps you were the chosen one with the sight, perhaps you reallyknew about the coming darkness. That's why you suddenly got interested in sportsother than cricket. And no one understood. Aw.
Happens in life. But look at it this way, mate - you entertained.
Yes, you did. Your beautiful bluster arranged alongside your disproportionateplace on the podium will make for some continued hilarity. It IS cute, if youask me. So, thanks there.
A word of advice, though. Try and develop some respect for the oppositionbefore another muscle. Because the only thing your bulk can't hide is yourtouchy little ego. Being a trifle gracious in defeat or adversity didn't killanyone.
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I'm sure the coming days will give you a lot of time to accept the results ofthe final triangular-series in your country alongside the opportunity to attemptbetter vocabulary.
And who knows, the gods could smile. Maybe you lose the next series only 1-0.That would be nice, no?
* * *
Dear Symonds,
First things first. I'm already impressed with you.
Loads.
No, I swear.
The way you came to the rescue of your naïve, helpless team mate called BrettLee in Sydney was way beyond noble. He didn't ask, he felt no need for it, henever felt provoked--but you jumped. So apt. For when did heroes or jamheadsshow concern for feckless cues?
That's why I have decided to nominate your despicable, two-penny comment aboutthe Sydney fiasco--the stuff about the cricket ground being no place to begenerous to the opposition and all that--as the sporting comment of thiscentury.
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I mean, wow. I'm sure you are feeling a lot less macho now.
You would do well to take a break from perfecting your glowering, muttering andyelling skills and take some lessons in humility instead.
The game isn't won on browbeating alone, you see.
Look at the scoreboard and you'll know.
* * *
Dear Gilchrist,
Frankly, your enthusiastic participation in the Sydney fracas changed a lot,if not everything. So you must get the words of praise you strictly deserve andnothing more.
So yes, you did play the game in better spirit than most of your team mates.You appeared as someone saner in the same frame.
We will try and miss you sometimes.
Because you didn't go out as a winner, you see. And this world--it's a cruelplace I tell you.
* * *
Dear Clarke,
You did provide one of the most memorable images of this series.
No, it wasn't one of your smiling, cute-boy mugshots on TV, but the sight of youunwilling to leave the crease after being caught at second slip in Sydney.
Priceless stuff.
You, being groomed to be the next Australian cricket captain?
Perfect is the word.
* * *
Dear Lee,
You were so gracious, smarmy and friendly immediately after you bowled Tendulkarthat beamer, it was unbelievable.
Wish you had the same vibes when Harbhajan gave you that friendly pat in Sydney.
Look what you started. Look how it ended for you.
* * *
Dear Hogg,
You play till 37 and the only important thing that gets written about you inthe papers is the stuff that comes from your mouth.
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Well.
Oh, you retired?
So, who cares?
* * *
Dear Ponting,
Ha. Ha. Ha.
