Agony Uncle
Troubled men across the country have been troubling our already agonised uncle,
seeking solace and resolution. Some snippets:
My wife is having an affair. I think she’s doing this because I had an affair with my worker. This is not right. Women should not be doing like this. My male friends tell me I should get a divorce, but I just want her to stop. What do I do?
— HM
First up, do yourself a favour and stop telling your male friends that your wife is cheating on you. That’s just stupid. Never trust a man, and as you yourself have shown, you can’t trust a woman. You should, however, trust me. Just keep your mouth shut and your cheque book open.
I was once a very popular TV actor, but with all the serials now being about matriarchs and new brides, I don’t get any lead roles anymore. I’m out of work. Help!
— JM
Go buy yourself a copy of the Titanic and learn how to cry. Don’t give up until those tears finally start flowing each time Leo claims he is the king of the world. Now get yourself onto a reality show, which is always a great place for out-of-work actors. Let the floodgates open every step of the way. Your histrionics will convince all your old directors that you can be hysterical enough for soppy soaps. Acquire pms (post male syndrome).
Pop Research
Fact
- Brain is more important than brawn Researchers at King’s College, London, say emotionally intelligent women are far better and more expressive in bed. Smarter men, on the other hand, have better sperm.
Fiction
- Men should not be aggressive at work Men who fail to complain about unfair treatment at work by bosses and colleagues double their risk of a heart attack, says Stockholm University.
“Please pick up after yourself. You left your underwear on the floor again.”
—Michelle Obama in a post-it note to her hubby. Found by Christopher Anderson for his new book Barack and Michelle
My fav quote about female behaviour :) “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”
—Mallika Sherawat on Twitter
5 Under Rated Men
Manmohan Singh, Indian Prime Minister For long had the man with the blue turban lived in the shadows of Mrs G, and just when ’twas time to sign his report card, in came the dimples of G Jr, undermining MS’ undying virtue—quiet humility.
Venkatesh Kumar, Hindustani Classical Vocalist Those who’ve heard him live wish they could do so more often, but the faculty member of the University College of Music in Dharwad, Karnataka, doesn’t tour that much. Arguably, one of India’s most gifted musicians.
Imtiaz Ali, Bollywood Director Reams of newsprint is wasted swooning over the chiselled looks of B-town superstars, ignoring this director. Given that he can bring long curly locks back into vogue, he’s the one man behind the camera who deserves to be in front.
Pankaj Advani, Billards player All of 24 and his trophy chest overfloweth—the world snooker championship, the world billards championship (in both points and time formats), the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna and Padma Shri. Yet, few have heard of him.
Anuj Sharma, Designer A product of nid and now faculty, he’s among our brightest emerging designers. Button Masala, his collection, uses buttons innovatively. You can button, unbutton, then rebutton to alter a garment—from a dress to a lungi to a shirt to a tablecloth.
