That night, I remember
Something splashed on my face
It burned me like a piece of plastic
twisting and turning and twitching
gobbling up my ears and eyes
and all of it merging with skin
More than life
I prayed for death
which was easier to get at that moment
I felt defeated
My parents helpless
After several days
I find myself under medical care
writing a terrible fate
that even time cannot erase
I was saved
with eighty percent burns
promising perpetual pain
with someone's fragile ego etched on my face
How easily he took away my right to be
The price of assertion was heavy
I wasn't ready to pay
My screams still catch me unawares
It's been a decade since
acid was once thrown with full force
But society reminds me everyday
The piercing eyes and words and questions
apparently with no intention of hurting
kills me, slow and steady
But I'm still living
Where your courage ends, my begins!
On Hold
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Today I put everything on hold
I baked veggies to make it quick
instead of a complete meal
of dal, gravy, rice, chapati
and I felt a sudden ease
as I indulge in looking at the melting cheese
slowly turning brown in microwave
I finally found twenty fifth hour of the day
I took a leisure stroll without a smart watch
instead of a compulsive brisk walk
just to be present in the moment
and I found new meaning in the same old song
That touched a nerve, I didn't know ever existed
I called off meetings
without making excuses or uttering
futile lies and I found ways to take
a glimpse of my bucket list
that has outgrown my tiny fist
unnoticed over the years
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I didn't answer any calls today
and I noticed
the sweat of summer making its way
down the spine through the waist
of my ancient body
still waiting to be praised
I put everything on hold
because the ticking of clock was beyond control
It has its own pace, own ways
emotionless and detached
I'm not a clock so I slow down
I need breaks
Slowing down, taking breaks are so underrated
Deal With It
You have two ways to
deal with dire disaster
and wild waves of wicked weather
Padlock the panes,
draw the curtains
put the phone on flight mode
and firmly latch the door
So the sunset won’t
see you stain your pillow
Let no fleeting flow
of oxygen sneak in
Let there be overthinking,
Overwhelming you again and again
Until the looming wrenching pain
kills you, destroys your senses
and you turn into a bloodless mess
you become a mere relic of your own being
Other way is to
Unlatch the door,
Until you are drunk on
vital elixir to the core
Until the callous candour
pierces your bones
Fling yourself into the bed,
be bare, brave and bold
tell yourself to be a brash
Believe,
this too shall pass!
BIO
(Pragya Bajpai, Ph.D. is a Central Government Officer serving on the faculty of English at the prestigious National Defence Academy, Pune.Her debut book, A Potpourri of Proverbs, a collection of poems based on 51 English proverbs was published in 2021. She has co-edited four anthologies; Unkahi: The Unsung (2021), The Force is With Us: An International Anthology Celebrating the Armed Forces (2022) and Memoirs of Covid Warriors in Olive Green (2022), and fourth being an anthology of Hindi poems titled Dabe Paanv (2022) to her credit.)
