‘As Far As She Was Concerned, We Were Enemies’, Sonia Gandhi Writes In Memoir About Maneka’s Rift

Sonia Gandhi’s memoir "Belonging: A Journey Of Love", released today, recounts how Maneka Anand entered the Gandhi household as its "Choti Bahu" at 18 and how that relationship later broke down after Sanjay Gandhi’s death.

For Sonia, who was known in the house as the "Bahurani", the arrival of a younger sister-in-law was at first welcome. "Maneka was a high-spirited and talkative girl, full of zest. It was refreshing at first to have a younger sister-in-law in the house," she writes.

The book traces Maneka’s early days in the family, the strains that grew inside the household and the eventual rupture in which Sanjay Gandhi’s widow left the family home. Sonia writes that the split widened over time and later turned into a dispute over access to Maneka’s son, Feroze Varun Gandhi.

Early Family Life

The memoir places the beginning in late 1973.

Sonia writes that towards the end of 1973, Sanjay Gandhi was introduced to Maneka, "a pretty and vivacious girl, ten years younger than him and still a minor". Within a year, they were married and Maneka joined the Gandhi family at 18.

Sonia recalls an initially easy warmth at home. "Maneka was a high-spirited and talkative girl, full of zest. It was refreshing at first to have a younger sister-in-law in the house. I could hear her laughter at times coming from Amie Aunty's room, and would walk in to enquire about the subject of such merriment, then end up sitting down to listen to her lively chatter about her friends or a book she was reading," she writes.

She adds that Priyanka was often found in Maneka’s room, spellbound by stories told by her chachi.

Then the tone shifted. "But slowly, the atmosphere began to change, with irritations cropping up in the home," Sonia writes. One source of tension, she says, was how the two daughters-in-law were addressed by household staff. Sonia, the elder daughter-in-law, was called "Bahurani", while Maneka, as the younger brother’s wife, was called "Choti Bahu".

Sonia writes that she saw both women as "equal daughters of the house" but that Maneka "probably saw it as a putdown". She adds, "When she spoke rudely, by and large I'd remain silent to keep the peace, but when I felt it had gone too far, I wouldn't hold back and would respond curtly".

The book also recalls strain inside Sanjay and Maneka’s marriage. Sonia writes that arguments between them became louder and more heated and that Maneka would use expletives even in the presence of her mother-in-law. She adds that the Gandhi home must have felt "dull and regimented" to Maneka, who seemed to settle down only after she began accompanying Sanjay to political functions and programmes.

Political Tensions Grow

Politics sharpened the split.

Sonia writes that once Maneka began joining Sanjay Gandhi at public and political events, her influence on him started affecting his relationship with Rajiv Gandhi. The memoir says the two brothers, once inseparable, drifted into bitterness.

The break deepened after Congress’s defeat in March 1977, soon after the Emergency ended. Indira Gandhi and Sanjay Gandhi both lost their seats in Rae Bareli and Amethi. Sonia writes that Sanjay’s name had by then become synonymous with the Emergency.

She says Sanjay began giving interviews in which he criticised the "slow workings of the bureaucracy" and aired views that could have been "construed as being critical of the prime minister". Indira Gandhi, Sonia writes, felt that Maneka was "egging him on in his activities, rather than being a sobering influence on Sanjay". Sonia adds that Indira Gandhi had told Cabinet Secretary P N Dhar of her young daughter-in-law: "Uske abhi se par nikalne lage hain." (She has started growing wings already.)

Sonia writes that Rajiv believed Sanjay had played a large part in the "calamitous outcome" of the 1978 elections. During one family discussion, she recalls, Rajiv told his brother, "I cannot forgive you, Sanjay, you have brought Ma to this pass." Indira Gandhi, she writes, backed him, saying, "What Rajiv said is true, Sanjay! How many times you gave orders without my knowledge".

Sonia says Maneka intervened in that exchange and retreated when challenged by Indira Gandhi, but the bitterness only hardened. She writes that Maneka’s sarcastic comments became a "constant irritant" and adds, "As far as she was concerned, we were enemies." Sonia also alleges that Maneka spread stories through journalists, including what she calls the "outright lie" that Rajiv and Sonia had planned to flee the country after the election defeat.

After Sanjay's Death

Sanjay Gandhi’s death changed the conflict.

He died on June 23, 1980, in an aircraft crash. Sonia writes that after his death, Maneka’s mother was believed to be encouraging Sanjay loyalists in the party to press for a political role for his widow.

The memoir says Indira Gandhi opposed that idea. Sonia writes, "But Mrs Gandhi felt that at twenty-three Maneka was still too young and immature to be given a leadership role. Besides, she had a three-month-old baby and would need to be with the little one; she should be patient; there would be enough time later to fulfil her political ambitions. But it became clear that she had her sights set elsewhere."

The dispute then moved into open confrontation. Sonia writes that in March 1981, Maneka held her son Feroze Varun Gandhi’s first birthday at the house of Vasundhara Raje, whom she describes as a staunch supporter of the RSS and a political opponent of Indira Gandhi.

Soon after, Sonia writes, Maneka began taking her belongings out of the house while her mother-in-law was in London. When Indira Gandhi returned, she asked Maneka to choose "either to refrain, or to live elsewhere".

Sonia says the exchange that followed was planned. "Maneka returned a missive full of accusations, obviously meant to damage her mother-in-law. It became clear that she was intent on creating a furore by which she would leave the house, placing the blame publicly on Mrs Gandhi. She had confided her plan weeks in advance to a journalist friend."

Rajiv and Sonia, she writes, were not at home when the final altercation took place, but blame fell on them as well. Sonia sums up the fallout in the memoir in these words: "The manner in which the whole incident was manipulated, the propaganda circus that followed, turned that sordid event into what would be termed today a 'reality show'".

She adds that in the years that followed, the Gandhi family fought a legal battle with Maneka for visiting rights to Feroze Varun. According to Sonia, Varun’s mother eventually denied those visiting rights.