Breathless In Beijing

Guess what, am going to China on the PMs trip and no one’s letting me getexcited about it. Nothing’s going to happen, world-weary types on the circuitare saying, no major breakthroughs this time, not much to be announced. You’llhave to listen to long speeches about historic partnerships (all TWICE as longbecause everything has to be translated), and get told x, y and z words in thejoint declaration are a significant improvement on what they put out last time.Being on The Plane, hanging out with the Media Pack, cosying up to officialswho’ve never returned your phonecalls, is going to be the real action, OldHands tell me -- not the stuff that happens in the Great Hall of the People.

Still, better learn how to spell Wen Jiabao and find Tawang on the map. Forgood measure, I even look up "market economy status", and Google ‘China USnuclear India NSG’ before heading off to Number One MEA Man’s briefing. Ampleasantly surprised to find Number One Man not at all intimidating, despite allthe stories about his amazing brain-power and pedigree, but really charming andpatient. Has brain-power alright, can even remember which questionsprightly woman journo asked at the last India-China talkathon. Does it reallymatter that his favourite answer is: "You’ll have to wait and see".

Next stop, Bundobust Meeting by MEA XP Division. Yes, this is really whatthey call it, must be some colonial thing. We get the lowdown on timedifference, flight schedules, and proper inner wear, please, these are sub-zerotemperatures. Don’t be late like last time, official tells journos, soundingboth cross and indulgent. Seems to know most of them, has obviously beenon loads of PM trips with them. Doesn’t know me at all, but is very helpful. (Am slightly in shock, this is all very clubby, not officialdom as I know it.) AsI leave, get handed, along with travel docs, a really useful Air India travelbag. What nice people.

Beijing, here we come

I am running late. Took ages to find godforsaken Air Force Station Palam inthe dark. Check-in and immigration being done on edge of airfield, near AirIndia plane, by ladies and gents behind long tables. Very Senior Editor isbehind me in the queue, getting a little restive, I can tell, as lady clerk runsher pencil up and down the list, trying to find my name. Quickly offer to findmy own name, and move on. Departure area full of journos wearing specialsecurity cards. (It’s OK, I have one too.) Very Famous TV Personality is herealready, walking around pressing flesh, laughing her full-throated laugh, whileeverybody watches her from the corners of their eyes. Hmmm, PMO official ischatting with journos in an animated way. That’s where I head, in afake-leisurely fashion ( don’t know it yet, but will really get to perfectthis over the next three days), hoping to catch some action. No luck, they’reonly talking Beijing weather. But oh yes, I can feel the buzz.

Time to board the special Air India One flight. Now, need to explain seatingarrangements, otherwise hoi-polloi won’t understand what goes on. NSG andother staff are huddled at the back of the plane, 34 journos are in the middlein nice, comfy business class seats. In front of the journos is a cabin carvedout for the prime minister, its doors remain shut 99.5 per cent of the time. Onthe right of the plane is a corridor leading to the front of the jet whereofficials sit. Seating arrangements are critical, an Old Hand told me twodays ago, while I was getting her to explain difference between LOC and LAC:"If you’re lucky, you’ll be seated on the right side of the plane, fromwhere you can see officials coming down the corridor, and grab them." That’sexactly where I am -- and just a couple of seats behind Very Famous TVPersonality. Added advantage for me, because so many people, officials even,coming to greet her. Yes, have definitely got the seating right.

Plane is called Khajuraho, cabin has that slightly tired look that is so AirIndia. But my god, are we being served? Awfully pretty girl in sari at my elbow,unfurling starched napkin and tenderly offering fresh juices, quality wines (notthe vinegary stuff they give you on normal flights), whiskies, brandies, canapés.How it works is, you settle back in your seat, sip pomegranate juice, try todecide between single malt and your fave Bombay Sapphire gin, flicking all thewhile, not through trashy in-flight rag, but Dead Serious booklet with usefulstuff on the trip. Eyes do begin to glaze over after a while, but I prise themopen, remembering Old Hand’s warning not to drift off to sleep with mouth openwhile others get ahead on networking. Best to follow the drill: drink,eat, pick up high quality gossip, covertly watch how two Very SeniorEditors, ideologically opposed to each other, are getting on in the best mediaseats (rather well, it appears) and grab officials heading for the back of theplane for a quiet smoke. (Front of the plane is completely off-limits.) At somepoint during the night, word is out: " Positive stuff" happening onIndia-China nuclear energy cooperation. Hmmm, maybe trip not a write-off,world-weary types got it wrong.

Day One:

Something so wonderfully bracing about stepping into minus nine degrees earlyin the morning if you haven’t slept all night. Especially if you are balancinghand baggage and handbag, plus large box of Lindt chocolates and velvet toiletkit presented by Very Sweet Stewardess. And also trying to put on yourgloves. When we finally reach the large media bus, am wide awake and fullyable to take in PM getting off the plane, stepping on to red carpet and beingwelcomed, as well as said carpet being rolled up with clinical precision byefficient posse within minutes of his departure. We’re off too, heading forthe super glitzy Grand Hyatt in downtown Beijing. Staying here for two nightscosts $650, but this is all we have to pay for, apart from own shopping, ofcourse. Plane-ride, food and booze are on the house. We even get coupons forhotel buffet lunches and dinners when there are no parties to go to. ( Willreally have to go on Emergency Atkins on return.) Can buy yourself a few taxirides if you’re a rugged individualist -- not too many of those here, I think --but not really necessary. Apart from the big media bus, there are vans onstand-by too.

The more I get a fix on this, the better it gets -- so many people lookingafter us! Apart from the XP guys, there are loads of really helpful embassystaff, and even person flown down from Hong Kong. Magic hands processing ourdocuments, giving us printed itineraries, handing us copies of speeches! This isthe life. Computers, and coffee, tea, nibbles, on tap at the slick media centrein the hotel’s basement! " Fabulous place," I exclaim, but an Old Handgently tells me the one they set up during Vajyapee’s 2003 trip was muchbetter, with panoramic view of Beijing. (Really must learn to sound more blaséabout these things.)

Today, it turns out, is a Light Day. Main event is private dinner for the PMby the Chinese Premier. Seems senior officials may just drop in after the dinnerat this Get Lucky bar place (all sounds very jolly) where the XP people arethrowing a party for us tonight. Party is clearly a must-attend. Media Packspends its day sleeping off journey, lunching with Chinese foreign officespokesman ( diary item possibility about him ending his welcome address with"Hindi Chini, Bhai Bhai"—doesn’t he know Indians find that slogan a bitiffy?), taking in the Great Wall of China, writing about PM giving pep talk toIndian businessmen on not being scared of Chinese.

What a fun place Get Lucky Bar is, with peppy band and free flowing booze.Everybody is drinking, eating, and talking at the same time, when a ripple ofexcitement spreads through the room because a bunch of suits has just arrived.(Must be like how bird-watchers feel get when they spot Siberian cranes landingnear waterhole.) Good heavens, Number One MEA Man is here, so is Top SecurityBoss, Lady Ambassador, so many other senior suits, alas all quickly surroundedby lucky, lucky people. But it’s OK, bits and pieces of info already drifting,Chinese-whisper like, through the room. Positive signals definitely on nuclearcooperation, even something on border, perhaps…Things are looking up.

People push off to file copy, thank god. Now magazine--types like me can buttonhole the suits and get different stuff from what papers and TV are saying.Number One Man actually remembers me from the question I asked at his mediabriefing (what a memory) so that’s a good start. But, bother, why is EarnestHindi Journo butting in and addressing him in long, flowing periods just whenhe’s starting to explain about the Chinese Way? All too soon, the suitsdisappear into the night. Never mind, let’s have another drink and listen tothe Uighur band, they’re playing good stuff…

Day Two:

Wake up indecently early, so get onto the Net to check out what’s inthe Delhi papers. Hmmm, some people really did get lucky. Positive signalson civilian nuclear energy cooperation, and also hope that Beijing may stick toborder commitments! Two sides may resolve differences on the question of notdisturbing settled populations! May also get back to exchanging maps! This isturning out to be quite a trip.

Big action day today. Passes in a blur. Went to big India-China businesssession in the morning -- Indian captains of industry going on about Chinese BadPractices and them not buying enough Indian veggies. All sounding a bitundiplomatic to me, but then, business is business. Now in Great Hall of thePeople watching ceremonial guard of honour. Very moving place (so much history!)but does look the teeniest bit like large lobby of four-star hotel. Bigmedia discussion going on about whether Wen put his hand on PMs arm when the PMmissed a step, or did he just put guiding arm on his back? Lots of peoplesaying arm on back, so guess will go with that one.

Going to be hours now, before delegation-level talks finish, and jointstatement is issued. No press conference, they don’t have them (so much betternot to, I think, in such a complex relationship). But better hang around, incase someone tosses off impromptu line or two, like how wonderful it’s beenhaving you here. Chemistry is what it’s all about. Only Very Senior Editorsget to go to official banquet, rest of us troop back to media centre andstart decoding India-China joint statement. Definitely positivedevelopment on nuclear energy cooperation, though in a, well, very incrementalsort of way. (Nothing wrong with that, it’s the Chinese Way, they don’t liketo rush things.) Many journos harping on about whether China will support Indiaat Nuclear Suppliers Group. Luckily, Number One Man is here, and explainingeverything. "Certain implications" on NSG in the statement, he says, butstill much too early for India to pop the NSG question at anyone.

Don’t need to worry about NSG anymore, thank god. People can go fileand then party. Booze bottles out before the last sentence (or was it thefirst?) written. All laughing as talented journo does class act, mimickingeveryone from Prime Minister to Very Senior Editor. Every Quite Serious XP Chiefis smiling indulgently. Old Hands chit-chatting about how Chinesesecuritywalas so much nicer to Indian journos than Putin’s chaps on PM’sRussia trip. A clear sign, I think, that India-China relationship improving. But then, what about India-Russia? Too late in the night to worryabout that. Better go to bed.

Day Three:

Last day in Beijing, am rushing to catch PM’s address to importantthink-tank. Lovely speech, it turns out, especially the bit about world watchingtwo-and-a-half billion Indians and Chinese getting together for 21C. Never gettired of hearing that one. No question-answer session at the end of the speech,even with Indologists and whatnot hanging about. Better to be safe about thesethings, I guess, this is India-China. Have to go shopping now, and then head forairport. Gosh, new VIP section of Beijing airport really plush, so much satinand gilt, lovely glittering chandelier, shimmery ceiling, and nice big chairs tohang about it. Lots of people getting their picture taken with Very Famous TVPersonality, even PMO junior staff. One for the album, I guess.

My god, what excitement as soon as plane takes off. Magic door opens and PMwalks out and shakes hands with Very Senior Editors and says hello to all ofus.Old Hands have already told me to use elbows and get right next to him, or Iwon’t be able to hear anything, with all that flying noise. Sohere I am, drinking in every word. Tiresome journos still going on about NSGthing, and guess what, PM says he did ask Chinese for NSG support (maybedid not think it was too early) but they didn’t give firm yes. But thinks theywon’t be obstacle when the time comes, which, of course, is fantastic.

After he leaves, we start networking like mad to find out what else happened.Border developments a bit disappointing. Turns out Chinese still being quiteiffy about exchanging maps and very shifty on that all "settled population"business. (Getting to understand now what world-weary were going on about beforeI left.) But look, what matters most is that PM met everybody and gave the wholething a push. As I keep saying, this is all about people-to-people contact. On adifferent note, this caviar is excellent, think I will ask Very Sweet Stewardessfor a bit more. Here it comes, and she’s also got me another of those reallyuseful Air India travel bags. Hmmm, quite heavy, will open it later.

Okayish landing but baggage nightmare later, we all scrabbling to get ourluggage from the containers. Why can’t they have a conveyor belt, or evenbetter, build a posh VIP airport like Chinese, who are always so ahead of us ineverything. But anyway it’s over now, and am finally home. Quite exhausted, Ihave to say, but need to check out heavy Air India bag before going to bed.Goodness, a bottle of Still, by Jennifer Lopez (not cheapo eau de toilette buteau de parfum), Benson and Hedges ciggies and Johnny Walker whisky. Hmmm,ciggies very tempting, but too soon to break NY resolution, will tellchain-smoking Foreign Editor bought them specially for him, might even getextension on deadline. Not really a Johnny Walker type, would have preferredBombay Sapphire myself, but never mind, will pass Johnny on to sweet guy inShastri Bhavan who works seriously long hours. Really, if anyone deserves todrink sarkari whisky, he does. Who knows, he might even be useful one day…