A Brief Life, A Lasting Grief: Sonia Gandhi Remembers Firstborn Who Died Shortly After Birth

In January 1969, Sonia Gandhi and Rajiv Gandhi became parents for the first time. Their son was born prematurely, two months before his expected arrival. For a brief moment, there was the promise of a new life: a tiny boy with thick black hair and long, slender fingers, whom the young couple had already begun to love. By the following morning, that promise had given way to grief. In her newly released memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia Gandhi revisits the death of her first child, the anguish she and Rajiv endured, and the decision that would leave a lasting mark on their family: burying the newborn beneath a pink bougainvillea bush at the Gandhi family's farm in Mehrauli.

The account, one of the most intimate passages in the book, brings into view a chapter of the Gandhi family's history that had rarely been discussed publicly. Sonia recalls the events not through the language of public life, but through the small details of a pregnancy that had seemed to be progressing normally, the first cry she heard from the incubator and the hours in which the family's happiness unravelled. The child was born on January 18, 1969. Doctors had already warned Rajiv that his survival was uncertain.

A Brief Beginning, And A Loss That Shook The Family

Sonia writes that the pregnancy had brought considerable excitement to the household. Indira Gandhi, who was usually restrained in expressing affection, had greeted the news warmly, embracing her daughter-in-law and joking: “One big baby having another baby!” She took an active interest in preparations, advising Sonia on her diet and exercise and arranging for the baby's clothes to be made from soft muslin. The anticipation was shared by a family that had begun looking forward to welcoming its newest member.

That sense of expectation changed abruptly at the beginning of Sonia's seventh month. She began experiencing mild abdominal pain and was advised to rest after a doctor was called. When the pain intensified, she was taken to hospital the following evening. The delivery was normal, but the baby was premature. Sonia remembers hearing his first cry as he was placed in an incubator. Later, Rajiv took her to see him. “We fell in love with him immediately,” she writes, recalling his delicate features.

The following morning, at 6.30 am, Rajiv told her that the baby had died. Sonia recalls repeatedly asking why it had happened, unable to accept the news. The grief was shared by both parents. Rajiv, whom she describes as having been brought up with a “stiff upper lip”, also wept. Indira, who was away on an official tour, cut short her visit and returned to be with them. Sanjay Gandhi, too, came to the hospital, offering support and trying to comfort his brother and sister-in-law.

Pink Bougainvillea At The Mehrauli Farm

In the days that followed, the family faced the difficult question of how to lay the child to rest. Sonia writes that the available options were deeply distressing to her. One possible arrangement, she says, “in any case would have created a furor”. She also recalls being unable to accept the idea of the newborn being consigned to a river, a thought made unbearable by a memory of having once seen a body caught near the Okhla barrage. The family eventually decided on a private burial at the farm in Mehrauli.

The property was familiar to the family from their Sunday visits. Sonia remembers it as a largely bare plot, with a well, old trees, newer trees planted by Feroze Gandhi and bougainvillea bushes along the boundary. Rajiv and Sanjay buried the baby beneath one of the pink bushes, then in full bloom, along the inner boundary wall. Sonia writes that Rajiv later told her where the child had been laid to rest.

For a long time, she and Rajiv would pause at the spot whenever they visited the farm, placing a flower over it. The gesture did not take away their grief, she writes, but became a way of remembering the child they had known for so short a time. The loss also left Sonia struggling with feelings of depression, inadequacy and guilt. She questioned whether she had done something wrong during the pregnancy, even as the family tried to find a way forward.

In October 1969, Sonia discovered that she was pregnant again. The experience was now accompanied by anxiety, and she spent much of the remaining pregnancy resting in bed. On June 19, 1970, she gave birth to Rahul Gandhi. In recalling the child she and Rajiv had lost before Rahul's birth, Sonia's memoir returns to a grief that had remained largely outside public view. The bougainvillea bush in Mehrauli, meanwhile, remains the quietest and most enduring image in her account.