Resign Now!

We are told that the recently concluded Hyderabad Plenary of the Congressparty was actually to have concluded today, timed to perfection with the SupremeCourt of India judgement on the "illegal, unconstitutional and arbitrarydissolution" of the Bihar Assembly. This is the copy of a proposed speech to be jointly addressed by the Congress President and the Indian Prime Minister.In the end, alas, better sense did not prevail.

Bhaiyo aur behano, khwaateeno-hazraat, ladies and gentlemen,

We know that many charges of brazen, blatant and shameless lack ofaccountability have been levelled against us in the recent past. But let's faceit: Who's to blame? After all, it is you, the Great Indian Public(GIP), who foisted these compulsions of coalition politics on us.

Take the latest Supreme Court of India judgement on the "illegal,unconstitutional and arbitrary dissolution" of the Bihar Assembly. Askyourselves: is it our fault that the compulsions of coalition politics dictatedthat we go along with the rather reasonable demand of our only real staunch allyShri Lalu Prasad Yadav?

Besides, how could we have allowed the "worst sort of horsetrading"and acquiesced in the formation of a "non-secular" government? Afterall, as you well know, even our secular ally Shri Paswan was insistent on acommunal demand of a Muslim chief minister. We decided to bite the bullet, facedpublic ridicule and yet allowed democracy to triumph. In the end, it was yourwishes that were honoured and the state has got a stable government.

Congress kaa haath aam aadmi ke saath!

Much noise has been made by some pesky members of the media about Sardar ButaSingh rubbishing all demands of his resignation and his unshaken and firmresolve to hoist the national flag and take salute in Patna at the Republic Dayparade. As he so correctly points out, after all, it was his report that the SC says"misled" us into misleading the President, that led to the dissolutionof the assembly, and the "shaandaar elections" conducted by hisadministration.

Besides, to hold the Bihar governor alone responsible for the dissolution isto miss the point entirely. Sure, we appointed him, and we could sack him, atleast as a grand gesture, for he is the one who after all misled us intomisleading the President to dissolve the assembly. But to do so, let's face it,would be hypocritical and also invite charges of making him into a scapegoat. Therefore, we all take moral responsibilityfor it and ask you for guidance: what should we do?

Surely, you do not want us all to resign en masse? Which is why the PM saw nopoint commenting on whether or not the governor should be allowed to continue.It is a given. The former Attorney General of India, Soli Sorabjee, thinks that the governorshould not even be allowed to continue for a minute. The governor, as you wellknow, has already made known his plans to take the salute at the Republic Dayparade in Patna. The same Republic Day that marks the adoption of theConstitution that he and his minders, viz we, could be accused of havingviolated with impunity, but may we also point your attention to what Justice K G Balakrishnan and Justice Arijit Pasayat, who dissented with the majority view on dissolution of the assembly,said? Here it is: "There was no material placed by the JD(U)-BJP combine for government formation. Therefore, it cannot be said to be a malafide exercise of power"and "it was on the basis of Governor's reports that the Council of Ministers acted."

By the way, should some of this ire also not be directed at the President? Sowhat if it was the middle of the night in Moscow? If we had erred in ourjudgement in buying into Hon'ble Shri Buta Singh's recommendation, surely hecould have referred it back to us? He knows that there are precedents for it.Surely we would have then been able to tell our staunch ally, hon'ble Shri LaluPrasad Yadav, that the Prez was being a party pooper? That would have solved it. Alas, it was not to be so.

You would also please appreciate that it takes time to study the full judgement.And besides, as was pointed out at the time of Volckergate, in the end, we wouldperhaps make some other cabinet minister let Shri Buta Singh know throughvarious TV channels that being a responsible person, he would know what to do inthe given circumstances? It is afterall, up to him.

It should be borne in mind, as we pointed out above, that this whole brouhahawas necessitated after all only to allow the people of Bihar to speak out andgive a resounding verdict. The people have already spoken. The SC is only doingits duty. We respect it. But with due respect, there is nothing more we can, orsee the need to, do.

It would take too long to delve into the past or address the long laundrylist of Goa, Jharkhand, Nanavati Commission on 1984 riots or Volcker etc. that are sought to be raked up each time a new controversy erupts. Wehave always believed that the GIP should be witness to the utterconfusion they have caused by subjecting us to one needless crisis afteranother so that it realises what a great folly it committed by giving us thisfractious verdict instead of a clear mandate.

But let's face it. What option does the GIP have? Look at the pitiable stateof the imploding party that had the temerity to call itself the natural party ofgovernance. We know, as the various opinion polls conducted on our behalf byvarious media outlets point out, that were we to dissolve this Lok Sabha and goin for a fresh election, we would emerge triumphant. But the question to ask is:Can the country face another expensive election? Need the booming stock marketsbe subjected to a needless jolt? So what if we have to fight our allies at thecentre in the states? Just think of the various sacrifices we have to makeroutinely for the country, yet all we get is this unending opprobrium and ahostile press. Is that fair?

Now a word about the recent storm in a tea-cup over defreezing of innocent MrQ's accounts. You tell us, what are we to do? It's been almost 20 years out ofwhich we have not even been in power for 8. If our political opponents could notbring the guilty to book, is it not fair to conclude that there are no guilty atall? Besides, what good would a resignation or two do now that the cat is out ofthe bag, er, we mean, now that the money is gone? Wouldn't that in the end justbe a grand but essentially a meaningless gesture? Is that what you callaccountability and taking moral responsibility? But, come on, sure, if youinsist, and create too much of a stink, and we need to buy some peace and quiet,we could let a head or two roll (remember how subtly we handled it and madebetter sense prevail on Shri Natwar Singh?). Ask yourselves: is that what youwant? Would a resignation of some fkunky fix the deeper malaise?

Meanwhile, it is time that you realised that we have no option but to behavein the manner we have been compelled to. At the cost of being called paranoidsin reverse, it is perhaps time to admit that there are actually a lotof people who are forever conspiring to make us happy. Thankfully, as some of the insightfulcommentators have correctly pointed out, there are lots and lots of peoplewe appointed in positions of power who derive immense gratification in doingdeeds that they think we want done. Some of these things do harm us, especiallywhen they come into public domain, but surely there is something to be said for honouring and rewarding loyalty instead of being ungrateful wretches?

There is then the minor matter of the SC. Needless to say, the PM has alreadypointed out the obvious. "Whatever the Supreme Court says, the country has to acceptit. The Supreme Court has got the authority. We have to respect it". Beingessentially a nice man, what was left unsaid was that the country has also toaccept whatever we, the powers that be, do or say as well. You need only look atthe cavalier way we authorised the Speaker of the Lok Sabha to deal with thenotice issued by the SC on dismissal of MPs in the cash on camera scandal. Surely, in this case the guiltywere manifestly deserving of punishment and we did therefore think it was a great opportunity to set a goodprecedent, should the need arise to dismiss any irritating troublemaker infuture as well. There should be no court of appeal for some crimes.

Now let's look at the ground reality. What choice do you, the GPI, have? There is nocredible opposition you can vote for. Do you want an emergency? Anotherexpensive elections? Let's get real here. Elections cost money. And yes, it doeslead to some corruption. We all know it is a global phenomenon. If you insist, we can set up a committee togo into state funding of elections and also, to come back to the matter at hand,the recommendations of Sarkaria Commission on governors etc. But would it reallyachieve anything? So why get all worked up? People get the government theydeserve. Why not simply resign yourselves to that? Remember, things are only bad. They could be worse.

We are sure you would appreciate our utter helplessness in the situation andthe disarming candour with which we have placed all the facts of the case beforeyou. We too could have chosen to be hypocritical about it all, but we hope you allunderstand that pragmatism necessitates some amount of give and take. Cut ussome slack now, and we would continue to be as fearlessly forthcoming in future.We promise you a truly transparent government.

In our endeavour to provide just that, the NAC is seriously considering thefeasibility of distributing free mobile phones with free SMS facility to allthose below the poverty line. It shall be done on top priority basis so that thegovernment can remain in touch with you and you can remain in touch with thegovernment. We are trying to cut a deal with Reliance Infocom. That should also put a rest to that whole phone-tapping controversy. In the meanwhile, all those who do already havemobile phones should immediately take part in our first SMS opinion poll to tell ushow we should deal with the present embarrassment:

Press a: Brazen it out. This too shall pass as the next embarrassingscam comes to light
Press b: Let Buta Singhji decide which other post he wants to betransferred to
Press c: Move to dissolve this Bihar assembly on the grounds that theearlier dissolution was "illegal, unconstitutional and arbitrary".

Jai Hind!