Abuse, Loss And Long Road To Recovery: A Woman Recalls Her Life

My name is Srividya. I did my schooling in Kalpakkam, near Chennai. My father was working as a telex operator at the Department of Atomic Energy, Kalpakkam. My mother was a housewife.

I studied in a co-education school. While studying in the fifth standard, a peon tried to molest me. My classmate had fever, so he was resting in the classroom. As soon as the classmate saw the peon calling me, he asked me to run away. But, by then, I was in the peon’s clutches. However, I managed to free myself. This happened in 1979.

I didn’t complain to the school principal or to my relatives and parents, fearing violence and loss of life. But I came to know later that my school seniors and classmates had done this to me since I was an above-average student. My school had awarded me a cup and a certificate for academic excellence. But my classmate, who had political influence, robbed my cup and got my name changed in the certificate.

My father forcefully married me to a scientific officer. My ex-husband harassed me for dowry. He also had an affair with his aunt’s daughter. It’s been 25 years since I separated from him.

I lost my father to diabetes and a heart attack. My mother was harassed in the apartment in which we stayed. So, we shifted to another locality. I was 40 then. After another round of harassment, we shifted to Palur. There were very few neighbours. We did not have access to water or ration. The fuse wire had been removed. My mother and I starved for almost 15 days. I relapsed and had almost gone mad.

My mother died of heart attack and I didn’t know. I was with her corpse for one day. The police arrived and my neighbours rang The Banyan. From 2014 until the Covid pandemic, I worked as a library assistant for the Banyan Academy of Leadership in Mental Health. Meanwhile, I did a diploma course in community mental health. Post-pandemic, I have been working with the Home Again project, the Chengalpattu chapter. Now, I am a personal assistant to the clients there. I have done a course in open dialogue to understand the clients and help them in their recovery process.

Srividya coordinates the Home Again programme in Chengalpattu, Tamil Nadu

In its August 21 issue, Every Day I Pray For Love, Outlook collaborated with The Banyan India to take a hard look at the community and care provided to those with mental health disorders in India. From the inmates in mental health facilities across India—Ranchi to Lucknow—to the mental health impact of conflict journalism, to the chronic stress caused by the caste system, our reporters and columnists shed light on and questioned the stigma weighing down the vulnerable communities where mental health disorders are prevalent. This copy appeared in print as 'I Lived With My Mother’s Corpse For A Day’