The minute the Bride zaps into life, she’s raring to dart out into the world. But her hunger for adventure is grounded and kept in check by Frank who just wants her safe, if a tad domesticated. Soon enough, the duo goes hopping berserk across cities, encountering and eliminating sudden violence, tailed by a detective, Jake (Peter Saargard) and his super-ambitious, brainier secretary, Myrna (Penelope Cruz). The bare scaffolding of a cat-and-mouse game between the two pairs is what lends the film an excuse of a structure, but The Bride! seems particularly plagued by artistic indecision in the worst, indulgent manner conceivable. Jake Gyllenhaal serves a charming cameo merely to buttress Frank’s obsession with musicals, ostensibly to prop the film’s self-reflexivity. However, its parts are way too inchoate and jerkily orchestrated to guarantee any momentum. Gyllenhaal tosses in a loose, perfunctory seedy mob subplot to activate stakes in a film that gets tediously dull very quickly. When The Bride! skates on thin ice, it randomly plugs in unimaginative musical sequences to distract with dazzle that never glistens. Shelley looms every now and then to rouse the Bride into further rowdy defiance. However, this author-creation interface never reaches a provocative peak, only regurgitating a needlessly stylised, shallow litany of female disobedience.