Bull's Eye

Pity prime minister Vajpayee. BJP Jats say the party can'tinsult Sahib Singh. BJP Khatris say the party can't ignore Madanlal Khurana. BJPBanias ask how dare the party ignore Rajendra Gupta....

Meanwhile, Sushma Swaraj remains busy. She has done nothingto demolish the Congress. She has done plenty to demolish Advani. She is telling votersthat law and order has collapsed because Advani sleeps at night instead of patrolling thestreets. Poor Advani doesn't sleep nights any more. He lies awake wondering whetherSushma wants to become the country's home minister. Of course she doesn't. Shewants to be prime minister. That of course does not worry Vajpayee. He yearns for someoneto replace him.

As if a thousand mutinies were not enough, Vajpayee waseven more depressed by a secret meeting he held last week. Mind you I can't vouch forthe total accuracy of this report. But I got it from a most reliable source.

It seems last weekend president Clinton, president Yeltsinand prime minister Vajpayee had a three-way telephonic conversation. Clinton was worriedabout global warming. Vajpayee agreed that it was the hottest topic. Yeltsin said,"It's getting to be as hot as hell!" "Exactly," said Clinton,"I propose that the three of us visit hell to see how they cope with the heat."

So last weekend the three leaders made asecret visit to hell. But shortly after arriving there, worries about home overcame them.Yeltsin wanted to use the phone and consult his doctor in Moscow. "May I use yourphone?" he asked the Devil.

Yeltsin spoke for three minutes, after which the Devilsaid: "You have to pay for that call, buddy. Give me a thousand dollars."Yeltsin sheepishly paid the amount.

Next Clinton used the phone. He asked Washington about theelections, impeachment and Paula Jones. He spoke for five minutes. "That will be twothousand dollars," the Devil said and held out his hand. Clinton paid.

Then Vajpayee phoned Delhi. He talked abouteverything from the cabinet reshuffle to onions to mustard oil. He spoke for fortyminutes. The Devil held out his hand. "That will be one dollar," he said.Clinton protested, "How come we paid thousands for a few minutes, this guy is payingonly one dollar after yapping for forty minutes?" "Don't be silly,"the Devil snapped. You guys talked long distance, this guy just made a localcall...!"

You can't really tell
 If life down in hell
Will be any worse
Than our daily living curse!