Amit Sadh and the late actor Sushant Singh Rajput made their Bollywood break with Abhishek Kapoor’s 'Kai Po Che' and during the shooting of the film, the two spent over a year and a half with each other. In a new interview, Amit spoke about how they were like “lovers” at that point so when Sushant passed away in 2020, Amit Sadh was so shaken up that he completely “shut” himself.
In a recent chat with Chetan Bhagat on his podcast, Amit recalled that he was “so affected that I wanted to quit the industry.” Amit remembered that his show Breathe was about to release at that point but he did not want to promote anything and wanted to retire to the hills. “I was ready to leave.” he said.
Sushant Singh Rajput allegedly passed away due to suicide and Amit shared that he knows the mindset of a person who takes that step. “I have tried committing suicide four times between the age of 16 and 18 so I know the mindset. Though I am a very strong person now. Everything has changed, life is good,” he said.
Amit said that when one does something like this, it is the society around them that is to be blamed. He said, “Mujhe psyche pata hai insaan ki. Insaan suicide tab commit karta hai jab uski life mein complete darkness ho jaaye. Aur jab kisi insaan ki life mein complete darkness hoti hai, uski galti nahi hoti, society ki galti hoti hai. Voh jo aapke aas paas log hain unki galti hoti hai ki unko ichcha hi nahi thi, parvaah hi nahi thi aur ek insaan itna naummeed ho gaya life mein, jo mere sath ho chuka hai, ki usko laga ki ab mere paas kuch bacha hi nahi hai (I know the psyche of that person. Someone dies by suicide when there is complete darkness in their life. And when there is complete darkness in someone’s life, it is not their fault, it is the society’s fault. Those around them are to be blamed because they did not care enough and someone felt so hopeless, this has happened with me, that one feels that they have nothing).”
Amit recalled that it was Smriti Irani who reached out to him at that point. “I don’t know how she found that I am in trouble. I just got a random call from her, she is like a sister to me,” he recalled and added, “She spoke to me, we were on a six hour call I said I don’t want to work in this industry, I will go live in the mountains.” He said that she used to call him very often to check on him.
When Chetan asked why he wanted to quit, Amit said, “Chid gaya tha maine. Bada tough hai yeh industry (I was annoyed. This industry is hard).” Remembering Sushant, Amit said that his passing will always be a significant moment in his life. “Mere liye boht badi cheez thi aur hamesha rahegi. Yeh kabhi purana hoga hi nahi (It was a big thing for me, and will always be. This will never get old).”
Amit recalled that a few months before Sushant passed away, he wanted to reach out to the late actor. He said, “3-4 months before he passed away, I spoke to someone who knows him and I said mujhe uska number do, main koshish karunga, main jaake isse baat karta hun. We all were hearing things. And number hi nahi tha, he had shut himself according to that person. That person told me ki voh phone nahi utha raha, number change ho gaya hai but mere andar ek awaaz aayi thi ki kya hoga, gaali bakega, gussa hoga, chale jaate hain. Mujhe jab uss insan ne naa bola, maine bhi chase nahi kia. We all get busy and then voh guilt… voh guil guilt nahi hota , voh ek pyaar hota hai. (3-4 months before he passed away, I spoke to someone who knows him and asked for his number. I said I will talk to him because we were all hearing things. There was no number. That person told me he had shut himself completely and his number was changed. A voice inside me told me that what will happen, he will get upset, I will just drop by his house. When that person told me no, I also did not chase him. We all get busy, then that guilt… I don’t know if it is guilt, it is a kind of love).”
Sushant Singh Rajput passed away in June 2020 in Mumbai.
