THERE was a time not too long ago, when hijackings were the order of the day, when Pakistan's national carrier PIA jokingly stood for Please Inform Allah and its Indian counterpart A-I stood for Already Informed'. For Wasim Akram & Co, hopping across the border and playing against the 'Tigers At Home' with Bal Thackeray's shadow peering over the sightscreen and the ghost of match-fixing lurking beyond the boundary has been a bit like flying on a wing and a prayer.
A defeat here could mean dishonour back home, forever. PIA. But they aren't letting any of the nerves show. Not as yet. As the 'Goodwill Tour' crawls across a nationwide web of allegedly foolproof security, the tourists have (so far) been near-perfect ambassadors of courage if not peace; of talent if not friendship. Making all the right noises (We've come here to play cricket, not wage war: Shahryar Khan). Asking all the right questions (We came here peacefully without problem in 1996 and 1997. What has changed since?: Akram).
Sure, the only Christian in the side, Yousuf Youhana, has the gumption to tell India's latest tearaway, Laxmi Ratan Shukla, Arre kya offspin karta hain. **** mein dum nahin kya?' One can put this down to a bit of gamesmanship.
Otherwise, the Pakistanis have been a picture of that romantic vision of sport bringing people together. Akram's envoys have been:
And silently making fools of us by coming here in the face of risks to their safety. And exposing the irony and idiocy of a Union minister under oath to the Constitution acting as spokesman for the unelected leader of the Goon School Brigade.
The security has been stifling. Anwar hasn't got his fill of baingan bharta; Afridi hasn't made it to Ghungroo; Inzamam-ul-Haq is eating buffet dinners when he'd rather order from the menu!
The all-is-well exterior contrasts with rumours of a deep rift between Akram and Salim Malik. The two hardly talk, and the captain hollers 'idiot' when a shot played by the classy batsman during practice hits Akram. And the on-field camaraderie (the Pakistanis do 60-second workouts after each dismissal) contrasts with the crossed wires between captain and coach. Javed Miandad reportedly wants his writ to be followed to a T. As the most talented side in the world proceeds from city to city, all you are left to wonder is this: Divided, if they're so good, imagine what a great team they would be if they were united?
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