What We Learnt Circa 2011

Four Places We Didn’t Know Of Until 2011

“There is nothing, sir, too little a creature as man. It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible.”

Samuel Johnson

• And so, in the year of the Lord 2011, we learnt that Asmaa Mahfouz's five-word message on Facebook which read “I am going to Tahrir" started the Egyptian revolution that toppled Hosni Mubarak. That a 12-letter word, cymotrichous, meaning having wavy hair, helped Indian-American Sukanya Roy win the Spelling Bee. That a dog can remember 1,022 words. And that Siri's voice on the iPhone 4S is of Jon Briggs.
• In 2011, we learnt that “Lazy white donkey" was the piano tune that Yale law professor Amy Chua drilled into her 7-year-old daughter's head, earning herself the title "tiger mom". And that Canada briefly banned the Dire Straits number ‘Money for nothing" for the anti-gay slur—“that little faggot”—in its second verse before Mark Knopfler had his way.
• In 2011, we learnt that the Russian republic of Yakutia recorded a daytime temperature of minus 61.2 that actually rose to minus 53.9 on January 8. And that, at 17 million on the Scoville scale, Margaret Thatcher's hometown Grantham produced the world's hottest chilli, Infinity, beating the Bhootjholokia from Assam.
• In 2011, we learnt Superman renounced American citizenship. That Tintin is known as Dingding in Chinese (and Tincjo in Esperanto). That Jamaica's new airport is named after Ian Fleming who wrote the James Bond novels on the Caribbean island. And that California scientist John Kubiatowicz calculated, using Einstein's e=mc2 formula, that a digital book weighs an attogram: 10 to the power of minus 18.
• In 2011, we learnt 39 is the Afghani bad number, like 13 for the Brits or 87 for the Aussies but not for the same reason. That ‘Baby Gaga Icecream' made of breast milk was served at 14 pounds a serving. That the European explorer David Livingstone ate an elephant in Africa. And that a snake died after biting the silicone-laden breasts of a model during a photo shoot.
• In 2011, we learnt that men think of sex 380 times a day, yes, and women 10 times. That 47 per cent of Indian women marry before 18. That the human sperm leaves you know what and enters you know where at an average speed of 28 miles per hour. And that, at 157.7 kmph, Australian paceman Shaun Tait bowled the fastest ball on Indian soil, in IPL4.
• In 2011, we learnt that human spit has reduced the hanger bases of the 26,500-tonne Howrah bridge by 50 per cent in the last three years. That the Vivek Express which traverses from Dibrugarh in Assam to Kanyakumari in Tamil Nadu is India's longest at 4,286 km, with a travel time of 82 hours 30 minutes across 54 stations in eight states. And that Vladimir Nabokov was right in 1945: polyommatus blue butterflies migrated from Asia, flew over the Bering Strait, and landed up in Chile.
• In 2011, we learnt that Biharis bought 1,765 cars and 9,100 bikes on Dhanteras. That Sachin Tendulkar's 2002 Ferrari had done just 8,000 km by the time of its sale. That the temple authorities in Tirupati earned Rs 133 crore from the sale of human hair donated at the hill-temple. And that on February 8, the Sensex closed at 18211.
• In 2011, we learnt that doctors at a Kerala government hospital did 21 caesarean sections in two days so that they could celebrate Easter unhindered. And that in Chhattisgarh, a police dog's trainers were suspended for ‘dereliction of duty' because the bitch got pregnant under their watch—Seema gave birth to seven and Liza to 10 pups.
• In 2011, we were told to forget six degrees of separation; the average number of people who separate any two individuals (at least on Facebook) is 4.74. That Padma Lakshmi screamed “I don't care if I was impregnated by Hitler" in the middle of a custody battle. And being born in August can result in low confidence and self-esteem.
• In 2011, we learnt a dead woman named Pinnitla Varalaxmi woke up during her funeral procession in Vijayawada and then died in a corporate hospital, in the end earning two death certificates for one life. That Shobha De announced the death of a very-alive former President of India on Twitter. And that people who walk one metre per second or faster live longer.
• In 2011, we learnt that Kochouseph Chittilappilly, a Kerala businessman who is the head of a Rs 450-crore electronics company, donated his kidney to a poor truck driver. And that assets of Tinoo and Arvind Joshi, IAS officers of the 1979 batch, were valued at Rs 360 crore with 25 flats in Delhi, Bhopal and Guwahati, and 400 acres of land in Madhya Pradesh.
• In 2011, we learnt that the most valuable player of the 2011 cricket World Cup, Yuvraj Singh, made it to the cover of “Banqiujichujiaocheng", the first Chinese official book on cricket. That on 11/11/11, at 11.11 am, South Africa, chasing Australia's target, required 111 runs to win. And that Rahul Dravid's speech in Australia was 6,403 words long.
• And finally, in 2011, we learnt that more than 85 per cent Gujarati men have waistlines above 36 (women: 32 inches). That an Ahmedabadi sought to know Mahatma Gandhi's IQ by filing an application under RTI. And that 3:1 ratio of Bagpiper and Signature whiskies is the ratio adopted by bootleggers to make scotch.

Four People We Didn’t Know Of Until 2011

Seven Words That Define 2011

Annapalooza: noun
Definition: All-out crazy civil society party
Eg: The Annapalooza at Jantar Mantar is still on!

Gamechanger: adjective
Definition: A visionary’s self-professed masterstroke
Eg: The gamechanger didn’t really change the game, alas!

Kolaveri: adjective/noun
Definition: Murderous rage
Eg: If those regular sports drinks don’t work, our fast bowlers might try Kolaveri.

Bombaat: adjective
Definition: Awesome (in Kannada), sexy otherwise
Eg: Vidya Balan is such a Bombaat when she talks.

Jat Airways: proper noun
Definition: modified Jet
Eg: No, Mr Ajit. You may be civil aviation min, but you can’t rename Jet Airways.

Pre-screen: noun
Definition: Only Sibal knows
Eg: Any thought you might think has to be pre-screened at Mahadeo Auditorium.

Bup: noun
Definition: Inverted pub
Eg: Let’s meet at the bup when Anna Hazare is in town.