Kiran Bedi

ell, well! Now that the romance of the Anna revolution is showing signs of waning, the romance of cinema has begun. To let you into a secret, after my “game-changing” ghoonghat act at the Ramlila grounds, producers and directors are lining up to sign me on. First up was Madhur Bhandarkar. He has already firmed up the title of his next venture. It’s called ‘Faast and Furious’. Madhur is yet to write the script but he sees my role as one in which I wear a ghoonghat and mock a wide range of people and institutions—students, the NHRC, the left, right and centre, TV anchors, sops and soap manufacturers, desperate housewives and even ice-cream vendors. “Kiranji, you will have to just let yourself go...do exactly what you did at the Ramlila grounds. I tell you, the movie will be a real eye-opener. It will rock the nation.” With that, he opened a box full of ghoonghats. “Take these and select a few that we can use for the shoot,” he said before taking leave. Very clearly, he presumed I was onboard. But I have to discuss the film with Arvind Kejriwal & co and the Australian filmmaker Megan Doneman who shot Yes Madam, Sir, a film on my life which premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year but is yet to find a distributor.

Anyway, hardly had Madhur left that Ravi Shetty (he tells me he’s the brains behind hit comedies like Golmaal) came a calling. At the outset, I was very categorical that I would have nothing to do with anything comical. He assured me the film he has in mind will be a serious one. “Kiranji, it will reflect our changing times,” he said as he explained the concept. “It will be called The ‘Game’ Changer and your role is of a dominating woman who surfs sports channels, much to the chagrin of her husband (to be played by Kabir Bedi), an avid cricket buff who’s allergic—he gets sneezing fits—when things keep changing every two seconds on the idiot box. The film ends with him throwing the TV out of the window and switching on his pocket radio.” I told Mr Shetty I was impressed by the storyline. “Use of the remote does give one a sense of power,” I observed and gave him an old police manual as a parting gift.

My last visitor was Mahesh Bhatt. Since he had been critical of Anna, he naturally expected a cold reception. So to set things right he opened with a quote from Voltaire: “Madame, I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Please do hear me out.” His film (Pathbreaking) features yours truly leading the youth of Ralegan Siddhi (Anna’s village) who dig up roads in cities which desperately need repair. “You guys make it unmotorable. So the government’s put under pressure by civil society to set things right,” he said scratching his bald pate. I told him it sure was a novel way of protest but I would have to give it some thought. “Kiranji,” he said as a parting shot, “I will hound you till you say yes....”

(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)