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I, Me, Mine

Because the young, urban male has finally learnt how to play

T
he findings of the Outlook-Moods Opinion Poll 2009 on the sexual mindsets of urban Indian men in the 24-34 years age group have scored a goal. The word ‘change’, optimistically tossed around in the playground of sex surveys for years, is now officially the captain of the game. Acceptance of male-female equality has coupled with the male ego to give birth to the Beta Male. Not the dominating, growling, impatient bedroom partner but a clever young man, quickly aroused and usually satiated. He now understands that sex, like anger, politics or the handling of a TV remote control needs some strategy, some fair play. When needed, he can be the indulgent son, the amused boyfriend, the tolerant spouse, the experimental lover.

If the Beta Male sounds like an underrated aside of master strategist Lord Krishna, then, well, you are beginning to get the picture. He is a player, not a loser. He likes his women “Western with Indian values”, and while monogamous, intimate relationships fuel him most, he is open to one-night stands too. His girlfriends should be emotionally and financially independent, but they shouldn’t be impatient about dropping their panties. He will sleep with his female boss for promotions but is still obsessed with his woman’s virginity. The Beta Male is having fun in a threesome fantasy titled I, Me, Mine.


If given a chance, for which of the following reasons would you sleep with a female boss?
Professional gains (promotion or better salary etc)
33
Feeling of power
14
Just for fun
31
Show off your influence among peers
4
Won’t sleep with a female boss
18

What do you think of women who quickly agree to sex for pleasure without hang- ups?
I prefer those who show some restraint
22
I see them as having low character
22
I get turned on by them
21
I’m not turned on by such women
12
They want to satisfy themselves
21

50%
men in Nagpur wear the latest fashion,
25% prefer one-night stands,
92% insist on contraceptives during sex and 82% believe free communication on sexual issues indicates a perfect sexual relationship.

 


What kind of sexual relationships do you look forward most to?
Monogamous and intimate
71
One-night stands
19
Orgies
5
Partner-swapping
5

What do you think women find most attractive in men?
Money and power
24
Good height and physique 
18
Confidence, communication abilities
16
Machismo
7
Polite behaviour
9
Successful career
15
Intelligence
5
Good sense of humour
7

What kind of women do you find sexually most attractive?
Modern but with Indian values
59
Westernised and independent attitude 
26
Conservative with Indian traditions
16

How important is oral sex to you during an encounter?
 
Extremely important
31
Somewhat important
33
Neutral
17
Somewhat not important
9
Extremely not important
10

What is a perfect sexual relationship? (multiple response)
Both partners satisfying each other
64
Frequent sex
35
Experimentation, sexual creativity
35
Freely communicating on sex
42

How important is it to satisfy your sexual partner?
 
Extremely important
76
Somewhat important
16
Neutral
7
Somewhat not important
0
Extremely not important
0

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32%
Lucknow men said they were sexually attracted to
Westernised women with an independent attitude.

 


What differences do you perceive between women of your generation and of one generation ago?
Now, girls are independent and have few emotional problems
29
Now, girls are aggressive, demanding 
26
Now, they are sexually very open and initiate sex
23
Now, girls think they know everything, that’s a big turn-off for me
9
All of the above
12

Do you insist upon having sex with your girlfriend so that you can know each other better? 
Yes
51
No
49 

Do you agree that a woman's virginity has nothing to do with a sexual relationship and it is time we stopped making a big deal out of it?
Strongly agree
39
Somewhat agree
31
Neutral
14
Somewhat disagree
7
Strongly disagree
9

What is the most important reason for masturbating?
The absence of a sexual partner
53
Does not require as much physical effort as sex
9
Don’t find partner attractive anymore
5
Partner not sexually interested
5
Safer than having paid sex
13
Helps to relieve stress
9

Do you think men and women should have the same sexual rights and freedom?
Yes, they should have equal sexual freedom
60
No, we can never be equal and women should remember this
19
Men should have more freedom
10
Depends on the kind of woman she is
11

What do you most fantasise about when having sex with your partner?
 
I don't fantasise about anything during sex
54
About any other woman
14
About group sex or such kinky scenario
6
I try to remember better sexual encounters with my partner
26

If you had a chance to have sex with a woman but at the cost of losing the friendship of a good friend, would you?
Will prefer friendship
66
Have sex
22
Don’t know
12

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37%
Chandigarh men and 26% from Patna said they masturbated
because it helped them relieve stress!

 
 


What do you do to have an interesting sexual life?
Try different role-plays and positions with the same partner
58
Try to have multiple partners
17
Use sex toys
5
Change locations
20

Can a marriage survive even if there is unsatisfactory sex between the couple?
No it cannot
47
Yes, it can
27
If other adjustments are good, it does not matter
20
Don’t know/Can’t say
5

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87%
Bangalore men admitted to having had paid sex at least 1-2 times whereas the 10-city average was only 27 per cent!

 
What would you do to improve sexual performance?
Maintain physical fitness
62
Take sexual performance pills
10
Improve knowledge about my partner's sexual preferences 
20
Reading books/audio/visuals for performance tips
8

Which factor in your girlfriend/wife turns you off?
 
Extreme possessiveness
28
Financial independence
16
Wearing revealing clothes
16
Emotional cribbing and crying
16
Excessive aggression
10
Interference in my life and nagging
15

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61%
of Bangalore men admitted to premarital sex,
having 1-2 partners before marriage. 

 
Rate the importance of sex in your life
Extremely important
57
Somewhat important
29
Neutral
11
Somewhat not important
2
Extremely not important
1


Do you think it is important for your ego to perform well in bed?
Yes 
61
No  
30

Which physical characteristic in women attracts you most?
Shapely figure
38
Prominent breasts
31
Prominent butt
11
Fair skin
12
Navel
3
Big eyes
5

All figures in percentage

(Survey conducted by MDRA in Gurgaon, Chandigarh, Lucknow, Ahmedabad, Patna, Nagpur, Guwahati, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kochi from November 14 to 23. Sample size: 1,088 adult males in 24-34 age group. Figures have been rounded off, so percentages may not add up to 100.)

Methodology

The Outlook-Moods Sex Survey was done by Marketing and Development Research Associates (MDRA). A randomly chosen sample of total 1,088 adult males in the age group of 24–34 years were surveyed in ten Indian cities—Gurgaon, Chandigarh, Lucknow, Ahmedabad, Patna, Nagpur, Guwahati, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kochi.

A structured questionnaire was administered to the respondents by trained investigators of MDRA in a one-to-one interview. The field survey was conducted between November 14 and November 23, 2009. The socio-economic class of the sample size was SEC A1, A2 and B1. A total number of 713 men surveyed lived in nuclear families while 375 belonged to joint families. Out of these 532 were married and living with spouse; 41 were married but living without spouse. A total number of 193 were unmarried but in a committed relationship whereas 322 were neither married nor in a committed relationship.

Published At:
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