Column | Motherhood Gave Ambition A Deeper Meaning, Says 'Missile Woman' Tessy Thomas

When people speak to me about my journey, they often speak about missiles, laboratories, test ranges and my years in Defence Research and Development Organisation (DRDO). They speak about Agni-IV and Agni-V, about being called the “Missile Woman of India” and about working in a field where, when I began, there were very few women. But behind that public journey is another journey that has shaped me just as deeply—the journey of being a daughter, a wife and, most importantly, a mother. Motherhood is one of the most powerful forces in the world, defined by unconditional love, endless sacrifice and the power to shape the future. As the famous saying goes: “God could not be everywhere and, therefore, he made mothers”.

My understanding of motherhood began long before I became a mother myself. It began at home in Alappuzha, watching my own mother. When my father suffered a paralytic stroke while I was still young, my mother carried the responsibility of our family with extraordinary strength. A qualified teacher, she devoted herself to bringing up six children—five daughters and a son—and ensured that all of us received a good education. I have often spoken of her willpower as an inspiration. She taught me very early that we may not control the circumstances that come to us, but we can decide how courageously we respond.

I joined DRDO laboratory in Hyderabad in 1988. Those were exciting years for India’s missile programme and highly demanding. There were no fixed hours when an important assignment had to be completed. Within a few months of joining, I bought a Kinetic Honda even before I knew how to ride it. I learnt to ride it because the nature of our work demanded independence and flexibility. It was a small thing and life moved forward by such small decisions.

After motherhood, every day required careful planning. I would begin early, cook for the family and for my son, go to work, and often have no certainty about when I would return. My husband was serving in the Indian Navy and understood the nature of duty very well. There were phases, when my son Tejas was in school, when balancing home and work was genuinely difficult. Motherhood calls to remain entirely with the child; while duty calls to be with the team and the national mission which is depending on me.

What made them possible was the understanding and support of my husband, my son, my family and my colleagues. Tejas grew up understanding the nature of my work and that understanding gave me enormous strength.

Motherhood taught me qualities that helped me as a leader—patience, listening, empathy and resilience. There is one memory that brings my personal and professional worlds together beautifully. Before the successful Agni-V launch, I called my mother in Alappuzha and asked her to pray for us. After the launch, I called her again and shared the happiness with her. At one of the most important moments of my profes­sional journey, I was still a daughter reaching out to her mother. For me, there is something very powerful in that memory.

The world may see the scientist standing at a launch centre, watching years of design, testing and teamwork finally take flight. But within that scientist is the daughter who remembers where she came from, the values with which she was raised and the quiet strength of the mother who once held her own family together through difficult circumstances.

Motherhood changed the meaning of ambition for me. I never felt that becoming a mother meant that a woman must stop aspiring. When it is connected to purpose, it becomes an example for the next generation. Children learn from what we tell them and from what they see. When a child sees a mother remain committed to her work, overcome difficulties, continue learning and contribute to something larger than herself, that itself becomes an education.

What matters enormously is support. I was fortunate that my husband understood professional responsibility because of his own career in the Navy and my family supported my journey. No achievement belongs to one individual alone. Behind it are people who quietly adjust, understand, encourage and sometimes make sacrifices themselves.

I have always said that science has no gender. What matters are knowledge, capability, competence and the willingness to learn. My experience in DRDO was that opportunities came with responsibility and we had to prepare ourselves to take them.

For more women to remain and grow in demanding careers, encouragement must extend beyond the workplace. Families must share responsibilities and institutions must understand the different stages in a woman’s life. Every family and every journey is different. I can only share what life taught me: plan carefully, accept support, keep learning and do not give up your identity or your dreams simply because one phase of life is difficult.

Looking back, motherhood did not take ambition away from me. It gave ambition a deeper meaning. It taught me that achievement is not about how high we rise, but about what we nurture along the way—the confidence we give our children, the strength we draw from our families, the trust we build in our teams and the possibilities we create for those who come after us. Life asks us to move forward with values, judgement, courage and love. And motherhood has taught me that the strongest guidance system of all is the inner strength in you.

Tessy Thomas is former director general (aeronautical systems), DRDO