Chandrababu Naidu

What the hell am I doing at New Delhi’s Andhra Bhavan, the same place which wouldn’t give me permission to stage my fast unto death? How could they not allow me to uphold this great tradition of Andhra Pradesh in fasts-unto-death? It began with that Potti Sriramulu and has continued uninterrupted since then. Do you know how many times the TRS chief has gone on fasts-unto-death? Has it affected his health? He is hale and hearty. This is something unique among the Andhra leaders.

The fasting scene is good here, better in real life than in any Eenadu studios. Though this is only day two of my fast, I take care to lie down, cover myself with a blanket and put on a starved expression when the media drops in. I think of my late father-in-law, NTR, and his histrionic skills (he could do a wonderful starving scene even after an 18-course lunch!) and this inspires me. I need inspiration because my ‘indefinite’ fast has not attracted much attention (every Rao, Reddy and Naidu seems to be on fast these days).

It is not true that my fast has been eclipsed by the Hyderabad fast of that upstart Jagan. There should be a judicial inquiry into his fasts and alleged imprisonments because he comes out of jail immaculate and full of pep. Was he in jail or at a spa? And we are supposed to fast for the same cause, a united Andhra Pradesh? Now, I am proud of my eternal scrubby look, makes me one of the masses. Don’t believe all that rubbish talk of me once supporting the Telangana cause. That is ‘Mother Mischief’, that Vijayamma, talking rubbish on how the late YSR was always against Telangana and I had given an unambiguous letter backing a T-state.

One thing is clear, Andhra Pradesh’s political ‘moms’ are worse than Hindi film ‘maas’. They talk rubbish, they interfere in issues they don’t understand and go on and on and on...till the movie is over. Remember the role played by that Lakshmi Parvati. Now it is Vijayamma, going around in Delhi with her son in tow begging that he be made the chief minister. With such ‘weeping widows’, Andhra’s political prestige has gone down.

My support to Telangana then and a united Andhra now is based on sound principles. I did read Dickens and in Pickwick Papers there is a situation when Mr Pickwick and his friends, during a local election, are confronted with two slogan-shouting mobs belonging to two different parties. What should we do, the Pickwickians asked their leader. He came out with the classic reply, “Shout with the larger mob.” How can I go against the great Charles Dickens?

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com