Sitting cross-legged, facing the first Indian ridge at the border town of Ath Maqam in Pakistan-held Kashmir, Abu Mahaz, 25, anxiously awaits the moment when he would be behind that mountain. A Lashkar-e-Toiba militant, Mahaz had been to India twice and returned home safely after participating in various missions. But this time, this village school dropout from Abbotabad in Pakistans North-west Frontier Province (nwfp) has been selected for a special task: a suicide mission, or what the jehadi groups call fidai missions.