PM Modi of Pollie-wood has been such a success on his trip to Australia that an increasing number of Australians on the streets have been asking whether the Prime Ministership in Canberra cannot be outsourced to the PMO in the South Block.
These comments started in Brisbane when Modi was noticed to have 'great wrist action' while unveiling a statue of Gandhi at South Bank. Despite Abbott’s camp trying to make light of the situation with comments such as, "But Modi comes from a nation of statue worshippers", the whispers were not silenced.
They were also heard at the Allphones Arena where, reportedly, extra cleaning staff, who knew Gujarati, were brought in shortly before Modi 2014 began. This was, presumably, to make sure that no one accidentally erased any inspirational messages left by Modi while he waited it out in the green room. Earlier, at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT) in Brisbane, federal minister for agriculture, Barnaby Joyce, had displayed cultural insensitivity for Modi’s native script, remarking that the cleaners might think it was graffiti and clean up a long message Modi wrote with a marker on a prototype robot. In Joyce’s defence, though, he has long been a victim of 'foot in mouth' disease. The emcees Rashi Kapoor, who is currently not Miss India Australia, and Siddharth Trivedi turned the crowd off with their shrill fangirl gushing and heavy handed swag respectively, making sure that Modi’s Madison Garden gig won, at least in the better emceeing category.
More people have since openly asked for Abbott’s job to be moved offshore, after it was found that he failed to acknowledge the traditional Kamberri landowners of the land in Canberra. Cameron, Xi and Modi made no such faux pas before their speeches. It was also noted that he had backed away from his threat to shirtfront Russia’s Vlad ‘the shirtless’ Putin over Flight MH17. He now says he has every belief that the Russians would do the right thing by the relatives of the Malaysian Airlines crash victims. Despite ample opportunities arising from Brisbane’s heat wave conditions, Abbott did not even attempt flicking Putin with a towel in the pool.