Neither Hema Malini in <i >Seeta aur Geeta</i> nor Sridevi in <i >Chaalbaaz</i> did half of what I did in fighting the system.
Life is so confusing. No one remembers the original theme of child brides, my life has taken so many turns—“child marriage, dadi’s harassment, Jagya’s tantrums, parents’ sufferings—no wonder my life story Balika Vadhu has entered the Guinness Book of World Records for the record quantities of tears shed—88,000 litres so far. The Guinness people were so nice, they presented me with a gold-plated bucket to collect my future tears. I had to make so many adjustments, take on Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde avatars. At home, I am the long-suffering bahu, meekly accepting all sorts of injustice. Dadima was really an old bitch but I had to massage her legs and prepare her masala chai though I really wanted to strangle her when she stopped me from going to school and asked me to burn my schoolbooks. As the obedient bahu I had to do it, though I was boiling inside. Mind you, I have another avatar where, outside the home, I fought kidnappers, challenged corrupt MLAs, exposed superstition, stopped child marriages. Heck, neither Hema Malini in Seeta aur Geeta nor Sridevi in Chaalbaaz did half of what I did in fighting the system.
But I have paid the price. My shoulders and back ache constantly because of the weight of my heavy ghagra choli outfits. I have become slightly bent over with all the jewellery I am forced to wear. My brain is dulled teaching the village idiots. How long can I go on calling my husband ‘Collectorsaab’? O, how I would love to prance around in a bikini and watch the reactions of Collectorsaab and Dadima. Still, let me focus on my achievements. The Rajasthan government is erecting my statue and the Union ministry of panchayati raj is to institute an Anandi Singh trophy for the country’s best sarpanch. And I will be around for the next 25 years though life will be easier without that Dadima.
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com