Aamir Khan

Once again it is that time...butterflies in the stomach, a dry mouth and so on. A secret diary is a must in such times. Pulled up a chair, sat down. Ahh, I howled, the seat was like ice. Looked down and realised I was in my PK uniform, that is, no clothes and with just a transistor lying close by. No, it was not yet another deft directorial touch by Raju Hirani but my own concept. My picture in the buff standing between the rail tracks ‘out-newsed’ even NaMo’s ‘extempore’ Independence Day address. If he focused on sanitation and the lack of toilets, my PK poster focused on how the masses, after 67 years after independence, still went without clothes. Got the symbolism?

A great admirer of Marilyn Monroe, my PK poster (railway track, nude posterior and transistor et al) is my tribute to the Marilyn legend who once posed for a calendar minus clothes. When a bitchy female gossip columnist enquired if she didn’t have anything on, Marilyn sweetly replied, “The radio was on.” In my case, the media experts wondered if the transistor covered my private parts and this issue will gather momentum once the film is released. My films entertain and also educate, PK will be no exception. It will spread ‘Posterior Knowledge’ (hence the title of the film). It’s already created a flutter among the moralists, judicial and film circles and even faced a Supreme Court petition on a ban for obscenity. Fortunately, a bench headed by Chief Justice R.M. Lodha came out with a clear-cut verdict. The film was the hallmark of a tolerant society, had been cleared by the Censor Board and did not violate anyone’s constitutional right.

Here is something for my secret diary. The Chief Justice told his fellow judges in an aside that PK offered wholesome relief to him and other judges who were being buffeted by the continuous onslaught from a former colleague, Press Council chairman Markandeya Katju, on judicial corruption. “I wish Aamir made a film on the collegium, stripping it completely,” he reportedly commented! I am happy that PK won the approval of most of the members of the Modi government, including highly qualified members like Smriti Irani,  BA, I year BCom, diploma and certificate holder from ‘Yell university’. Sources tell me she is keen to do a PhD on my film once the RSS and VHP make it clear they have no objections to the posterior scene. The railway minister however had a query on why the nude portrayal was shot on a railway track. It’s top secret, he’ll get his answer when the film is out.

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 [AT] gmail [DOT] com