February 08, 2020
Home  »  Magazine  »  Society  » Cover Stories  » Cover Story »  What Women Want

What Women Want

We wanted to find out what is it about the male that the Indian woman loves and what she loathes. The results are surprising —- or expected, depending on what you assumed.

What Women Want
What Women Want
outlookindia.com
-0001-11-30T00:00:00+0553
What do women want in a man? It's a question the caveman must have asked. It's a question the new-age man is still asking. It's also a question Outlook asked in an exclusive opinion poll across 10 Indian cities. We wanted to find out what is it about the male that the Indian woman loves and what she loathes. The results are surprising—or expected, depending on what you assumed. It wasn't money, property or career prospects, or even looks and a good body, that mattered the most. What did was how sensitive a man was to a woman's needs. He had to listen to her, treat her as an equal and be honest to be in her good books. Interestingly, the illiterate women prized equality even more than the well-educated.

Men who have Ghalib as a role model better drop him. Men with poetry in their souls came in very low. As did the spiritual man. Caste, however, is no bar: lower castes will do.

Devdas is definitely out: alcoholics were the most despised, across all age groups, regions, and occupations. Irresponsible men and those who talk loosely about women emerged as villains of the poll. So were men with violent tempers. Vain and narcissistic men were certainly not the flavour of the times.

Good sex, however, was almost unanimously considered important for a good relationship—it was very important even for older women. But, intriguingly, while women expressed a desire for sex, even taking the initiative sexually, as many 55 per cent of the respondents thought that men should be virgins when they marry.

Outlook-Cfore Perception Survey Among Women

Do women really need men?

Yes : 78
No  : 14
Can't say : 8

  • Do women really need men? No, say 32 per cent of women in Chandigarh, 22  per cent in Vadodara, 20 per cent in  Calcutta and Chennai, but only 2 per  cent in Vijayawada.
  • As many as 47 per cent of divorced women think they don't really need men.  Only 10 per cent of married women and 17 per cent of single women agree.
  • Is it some sort of measure of independence that only 6 per cent of  housewives think women don’t really need men, while as many as 25 per cent of self-employed women find men unnecessary?

Do you expect your man to help in domestic chores?

Yes : 80
No : 14
Can't say : 7

  • 93 per cent of women in Delhi expect their men to help in domestic chores;  It is 92 per cent in Hyderabad, 88 per cent in Mumbai and Vijayawada, and only 56  per cent in Vadodara.
  • The verdict is clear. More than 80 per cent of women below 30 years of age expect help from their men at home. The figure for women 30 years of age and above is more than 75 per cent.
  • Among those who can do without their men’s help about the house, housewives number the highest—21 per cent. It is the lowest among salaried women—only 8 per cent.

Is good sex very important?

Yes : 75
No  : 10
Can't say : 15

  • Only 4 per cent of women below 20 think good sex isn’t very important, as opposed to a high 19 per cent of women above 40.
  • 12 per cent of divorced women, 11 per cent of married women, and 8 per cent of single women believe that the importance of good sex is over-hyped. No widowed women, however, think so.
  • 94 per cent of women in Vijayawada and 85 per cent in Delhi feel good sex is very important. But only 40 per cent of ladies from Vadodara agree with this.

Will you tell your man about your past affairs?

Yes : 58
No : 30
Can't say : 12

  • 62 per cent of married women would tell their men about their past affairs. Only 37 per cent of divorced women would trust their men that much.
  • While as many as 84 per cent of women in Calcutta would tell their men about their past affairs, women in Vadodara are the most cautious: a mere 35 per cent.
  • Disclosure increases with age—47 per cent of women below 20 would reveal   their past affairs. The figures for women between 20 and 30 years, 30 and 40 years, and above 40—61 per cent, 63 per cent and 60 per cent respectively.

What would you do if your man had a fling?

walk out  : 43
have a fling yourself : 20
Sulk    : 37

  • 51 per cent of women above 40 will only sulk if their men had an affair, while 56 per cent of women below 20 will walk out on their men.
  • In Delhi, 38 per cent of women would respond by having a fling themselves. So would 33 per cent in Chandigarh and 32 per cent in Calcutta.
  • 56 per cent of divorced women would walk out from the relationship. Married women are more forgiving—38 per cent would walk out, and 41 per cent would only have a good sulk.

Should the man you marry be a virgin?

Yes : 55
No  : 27
Can't Say : 18

  • Across all age groups, the majority of Indian women (between 52 and 58 per cent) want the men they marry to be virgins.
  • 61 per cent of students, 58 per cent of housewives, 52 per cent of salaried women, and 39 per cent of self-employed women would want the men they marry to be virgins.
  • A respondent in Delhi wrote on the survey form next to her answer to this   question: "If a man claims to be a virgin, take him to a hospital. He must be suffering from some sexual disorder!"

What would you like your man to be?

Not sexually experienced at all : 51
Moderately sexually experienced and moderately experimental : 37
Sexually very experienced and experimental : 12

  • 53 per cent of women between 20 and 30 years of age want their men to be sexually totally inexperienced. Only 12 per cent want them to be very experienced.
  • 55 per cent of married women would want their men to be “moderately sexually experienced”, 10 per cent “sexually very experienced”, and 35 per cent “not sexually experienced at all”.
  • Metro check. Delhi—60 per cent of women want their men not to be sexually experienced at all. The figures for Mumbai, Calcutta and Chennai—38 per cent, 40 per cent and 55 per cent.

Would you be comfortable if your man wants you to take the initiative sexually?

Yes : 43
No : 36
Can't say : 21

  • 64 per cent of women in Calcutta would be uncomfortable if their men wanted them to take the initiative sexually. Only 14 per cent of women in Vijayawada have any qualms about that.
  • 44 per cent of women below 30 years of age will have no problem with this. The figure is nearly the same for women between 30 and 40 years of age. But it falls to 37 per cent for older women.
  • Can’t says score quite high on this question: 32 per cent of students, 25 per cent of unemployed women, 22 per cent of self-employed women, 20 per cent of salaried women. Housewives are the least unsure. Only 13 per cent don’t know how they will respond.

What would you do if your man were to hit you?

Walk out  : 31
Hit him back : 34
Retreat into a corner : 18
Don’t know : 17

  • If her man were to hit her, a woman between 20 and 30 is 36 per cent likely to hit him back and 31 per cent likely to walk out. 12 per cent would retreat to a corner.
  • 66 per cent of women who are graduate or above will either walk out or hit back. Only 39 per cent of illiterate women will do the same.
  • In Bangalore, 53 per cent would hit their men right back, 18 per cent would walk out. Compare that with Vadodara—only 4 per cent would walk out, 26 per cent would hit back, 35 per cent would retreat to a corner, and a full 35 per cent can’t say how they would respond.
Next Story >>
Google + Linkedin Whatsapp

Read More in:

The Latest Issue

Outlook Videos