February 21, 2020
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Trashes 2002

Must have been tough to do it all in half a page, but our resident derisive dude seems to have been discriminating ...

Trashes 2002
Trashes 2002
Ruby Bhatia & Other Long Legs
Max unleashed Ruby Bhatia, Maria Goretti and other such non-cricketing nouns during the telecast of the icc Champions Trophy. It was a ‘Bodyline’ tactic that Sidhu would have said "bamboozled" cricket-lovers. Ruby sat with some masters of the game, giggling throughout. She even made observations on Jeff Thompson’s striped pants. It would have been truly rewarding had Jeff bowled the famed 100 mph delivery at her. A nice short-pitched one (at her teeth especially) would have been a good service to the game because she is expected to come back for the World Cup.

Pop goes Viva
Five girls came through to form Viva, India’s first girl band. They were asked to wear good clothes, drink carrot juice and pretend to sing when someone’s photographing them. In the end, as expected, they’ve split. As we are about to forget their names, here is perhaps the last description you’ll see of them in print: one tall one with African lips, one lean one who was never really comfortable, one with big eyes who decided to quit, one short plump one whom everybody liked because she was short and plump and another one.

Bollywood: Now They Should Make Movies
The Hindi film industry made 124 flops from 132 attempts because while they got everything else right, they forgot the story. Some ‘concepts’ this year were one boy meets one girl and they go to Europe. Two boys meet one girl and the two go to Europe. Two boys meet one girl and all three go to Europe. One girl meets two boys and all three go to Europe. Some releases for 2003 are borrowed from the above varied ideas.

Celeb columnists: Please Do Something Else
When it started, Nina Pillai’s column was an apt retribution to the Englishmen who ruled us. We showed them how we could torture the language they left behind. But now that we know her heart bleeds sometimes, and her heart beats faster during other times, should the ex-cookie queen continue to write?

Male models—Yawn...
In a world that never looks at men, this year saw some men who made matters worse. There were several male models who walked down the ramp but thankfully went backstage pretty fast. Female models continued to be the only attraction in fashion shows. So if you’re tall, big and have a dead face, there is more glory in being a statue. And...

  • There was Rina Dhaka who wrote, "The guy who got my thighs banging against each other was Richard Gere."

  • Nina Gupta turned out to be the Weakest Link in game shows.

  • Justine Hardy’s book Bollywood Boy on Hrithik held as much promise as the star.
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