The Englishmen may give our Kohinoor back, for the Indian retribution is very severe in the form of Navjot Singh Sidhu who has been paid to speak in English from the commentary box for the series in Sri Lanka. Someone apparently has told him he’s being paid per word, for he often lets out long complex sentences in active voice, and then repeats them in passive voice. Meanwhile, his Kiwi partner Martin Crowe tries hard to add in his bit but Sidhu’s never quite finished. Our man not just states the obvious with a lot of passion, but also seems to have read up many expressions from pavement books. There may be a growing number of people who put the TV in mute mode when Sidhu’s talking because how long can you hear him say things like "Oh that was sweetly timed, sweeter than Tutti-Frutti", or "Martin, Harvinder Singh has really begun well. As you know, a good lather is half the shave". And what does he mean when he says: "Ifs and buts are like pots and pans, there will be no tinkers without them", or "One-day is like fast food, nobody wants to cook".