The all-in-one cure for everything incurable—like Covid or cancer (of cells, but largely the infected gooey grey matter above)—is the processed fluid of a holy cow’s kidneys and urinary system. That’s cow urine to you, but don’t make the mistake of calling it waste matter because there are abundant people swearing by the miraculous therapeutic wonders of the gau mata’s bodily discharges. And cow urine never had it so good until the coronavirus took charge of human affairs—both life and death. Shamans prescribing dunk-and-drink cow urine remedies are having a field day on all platforms we have our eyes and ears on: WhatsApp, YouTube, official press statements, you name it. One such advocate of this bovine remedy is Pragya Singh Thakur, the BJP’s Lok Sabha MP representing Bhopal. She prescribes the gau mutra cure for Covid with clear and precise instructions.
The self-proclaimed Sadhvi told a gathering in Bhopal’s Bairagarh that the real deal is gau mutra ark (cow urine extract and not just cow urine—for queries about the difference, contact Thakur’s office) and it’ll be effective only if it’s from a desi cow with pure Indian roots—sorry, the Jerseys won’t do. While the efficacy of Covid vaccines may still be under question, Thakur’s prescription came with an efficiency certificate, validated by god himself. “I take gau mutra ark every day.… I am not affected by coronavirus. God will protect me as I am using gau mutra ark.”