Books

That Familiar Feeling

Does not tell us anything startingly new, but at least covers known ground in readable, even simplistic ways - a useful, honest, sincere, and unpretentious contribution

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That Familiar Feeling
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Great Indian Family

Gitanjali does not tell us anything startingly new either, but at least she covers known ground in readable, even simplistic ways. Her personal bias in favour of the institutions of family and home is apparent, and I agree with her. In the Preface she sums up both her personal predilection and the framework of her book: "In earlier times, you could turn to your family for help and it could not turn its back on you. The family was creche, university, nursing home, investment bank, all rolled into one—how far have we travelled from there? How is the urban middle-class family faring today? What are the problems of a dual career family? Is life easier for career women who are single? How do today’s housewives view their situation? What are the priorities and concerns of young middle-class adults? Are the pressures of the workplace adversely affecting family life? What can we expect from the future?"

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Gitanjali draws her inferences from indepth interviews. Most of the voices are predictable, but how can we blame her for that? Her enquiry is limited to the middle class, leaving a huge swathe of India outside its scope. But, perhaps, it is better to be honest about what one can deliver rather than make unconvincing claims to do more.

Gitanjali’s book makes no effort to prioritise issues, or to deal with some issues more extensively, although the changing landscape of the Indian family allows for that. To my mind, the two most critical factors in the last few decades are the demise of the joint family and the emancipation of middle-class and urban women. Together, these have taken away the certainties and the tyrannies of the past. Women know what is happening to them, and are far more confident about facing the new challenges. Men comprehend the extent of the change more reluctantly, and are still susceptible to the unsustainable nostalgias of the past.

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The problem, of course, is that the past and the present are not so easily separable, and there is still the search for preserving the comfort zones of erstwhile institutions without perpetuating their tyrannies. The book is also rather coy about dealing with the sexual revolution that is unfolding, especially in the lives of urban middle class women, who are awakening to the legitimacy of their needs, and are experiencing, perhaps for the first time, the freedom and opportunity to pursue them without a sense of guilt. The implications of this for the conventional Indian family are enormous.

On the whole, this is a useful, honest, sincere, and unpretentious contribution to a vitally important area of study.

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