After the recent humiliations in the UK, I feel it’s time we moved to India. It’s the sort of place where my media empire News Corp can thrive. Why, no questions are ever raised about hosting a (political) soiree. Or for that matter extending a helping hand to police officers. In fact, traditional Indian wisdom understands the ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ philosophy. More importantly, no one stabs you in the back, unlike the Poms who hate us Aussies.
Anyway, Rebekah (Brooks, disgraced editor of my now-defunct News of The World) suggested I should seriously think of launching NoTW from New Delhi. “Rupa (that’s what she calls me affectionately!), we can rename the paper so it will be a brand-new product.” Now, I must admit I was fairly impressed by her idea but had she thought of a new title? She had. “Rupa,” she said animatedly, almost spilling her Darjeeling, “we can call it Muse of The World,” Well, well, I thought, she’s hit the nail on the head. But when I checked with my News Corp lawyers in Delhi, I discovered that the name had already been registered by a publisher in Madurai who plans to launch a crime magazine written in iambic pentameter. With Muse out, my son James, Rebekah and I had a brainstorming session and came up with another name (Noose Of The World) which I’m sure will work. Incidentally, at this meeting my son (with his Harvard ways) launched into a convoluted, jargon-laced presentation about the prospects of the Noose that made me yawn. Finally, I had to remind sonny boy that he was with friends and family and not appearing before a Parliamentary Committee.