Friday, Aug 12, 2022
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Rahul Gandhi

“No sir,” he said animatedly, “you have to do a lot more. Now, look at Swami Agnivesh. At 72, he’s agreed to be part of Bigg Boss...”

Rahul Gandhi Illustration by Sorit

Well, it was one of those remarkable November evenings which should not go unreported. Which is why I thought of penning a few lines for posterity’s sake. Anyway, to get to the point, there I was idling in my study when in walked my super-strategist—the formidable ex-IB man, Dr Vijay. Now he’s not the one for formalities. So he quickly pulled up a chair and spelt out the reason for his visit. “I have something important to discuss with you,” he said, “it’s all about the need to change with the times and to immediately reinvent yourself.” I was quite taken aback by his sense of urgency. I pointed out that I considered myself cool since I listen to Pink Floyd and watch T20 matches with Shahrukh Khan. “No sir,” he said animatedly, “you have to do a lot more. Now, look at Swami Agnivesh. At 72, he’s agreed to be part of Bigg Boss. It sure takes guts to agree to share your thoughts about bonded labour and malnutrition with a flat full of frustrated young men and women.”

I let that sink in but was candid enough to admit that it was beyond me to attempt such a caper. “How will Saw-me-ji pull it off?” I wondered aloud. To that, my sleuth pulled out a cigarette (thankfully, he did not light it), took a drag, pursed his lips and practised blowing a few imaginary smoke rings. Then he finally spoke, “Agniveshji already had one mock run at a farmhouse outside Pune. One of my operatives was there so I know his secret.” According to Dr V, Swamiji merely followed the old ‘jingle’ saying—‘MAK makes it possible.’ So, he apparently downed two large shots of motor lubricant before making his grand entrance. I immediately got the drift: “It’s just like downing double Patialas, ain’t it?” Dr V answered in the affirmative but added that the basic difference was that while whisky makes you reek of alcohol, MAK only makes you smell of engine oil.

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