Anyway, I understand Advaniji’s got so excited with my formula that he sent a team of BJP workers disguised as private detectives to ransack my office at the AICC. They apparently wanted to steal the questions I had framed for the Congress party’s spot-young-talent entrance exam. Well, I am happy to report that the Sanghis drew a blank since I had buried the papers in my favourite corner of 10 Janpath. That apart, I can’t understand all this subterfuge. If Advaniji wanted the papers, all he had to do was accidentally run into me at the Delhi airport lobby and request for it. We Gandhis are very accommodative, as Lalooji, Paswanji and Mulayamji will confirm. Anyway, to keep the BJP in good humour I have passed on a fake set of questions through the ever-reliable Luhar.
Among the questions was this gem—‘What is Pink Floyd?’ (Incidentally, that’s my favourite band, as I have revealed on Twitter, and their Dark Side Of The Moon the best album ever). Well, Advaniji and Rajnathji did hear the Dark Side at the BJP headquarters and their advice to party leaders was that it was best heard with the volume on zero. Meanwhile, my IB pals tell me the RSS has a dossier on me which details all my activities, including my penchant for yawning when I am sleepy and for speaking out of turn while I am interrupting. Well, I wonder what purpose that info will serve, but then in politics you can never tell.
Meanwhile, I understand, in trying to emulate me, the BJP leadership has set up huts at the party headquarters. Apparently, this is to acclimatise party leaders who want to spend a night at a Dalit home. Also efforts are on to rope in my friend—British foreign secretary David Miliband—to accompany the netas when they go about it. David almost agreed but pulled out when he learnt he would have to wear khaki shorts over his trousers—a condition laid down by the Sangh.
Well, well, well, in days to come I won’t be surprised to see the not-so-young guns of the BJP at 360 Degrees (that’s where I chill out) ordering Chicken Consomme (my dream dish). But is all this advisable for 60-plus folks? Someone’s obviously convinced the BJP that to be like Rahul one has to live like Rahul. Luhar ka jawab nahi!
(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)