March 28, 2020
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N. Sreenivasan

When I resume as BCCI chief, I will see to it that Taliparamba is presented with a 50-over one-day international venue.

N. Sreenivasan
Illustration by Saahil
N. Sreenivasan

Look at them, they are all over the media, page 1, sports pages and last page. Has anyone ever looked cleaner and fairer? My dhoti  and angavastram, as I step out from Rajarajeswara temple, Taliparamba, in Kerala! I have never seen anything cleaner, whiter, shinier. When I resume as BCCI chief, I will see to it that Taliparamba is presented with a 50-over one-day international venue. The infrastructure for the match will be in the hands of India Cements. Man Friday Sundar Raman says he can handle everything and I believe him, whatever Mudgal or the media may say. My fan mail continues to pour in, this time mostly enquiries about my dhobi and laundry . Mahi wants the same whites for the team. I want to think about it because of the criticism that he is already too much under my thumb!

It’s a funny world but everything is working out well for me despite the howling of some of those cricket experts on TV. The clean chit given to me, no I have not seen it, but sources tell me it is as white as anything I use from the time the IPL hullaballoo began. Mudgal made it clear that I had nothing to do with match-fixing or efforts to scuttle the investigation. By the way, I have come to love the term scuttle. Will send messages to my commentary team of Bhogle and co to use it as much as they use other cliches. Ravi would have done it without my telling him, but then he is now a director or something. Whatever he directs flies off like a tracer bullet!

So many vague charges in the Mudgal report. The other day while flying out of Chennai, I got hold of a thriller, Ludlum’s The Matlock Papers. While dozing over the pages, I dreamt the book had changed into ‘The Mudgal Papers’, revealing all the dirty secrets of the BCCI. Ha, wasn’t that dangerous. But don’t worry. Sreeni turns into secret Agent Srini Bourne, gets hold of the Mudgal Papers and manages to throw them into the sea. Danger resolved, Sreeni and the BCCI emerge cleaner then ever. It is wonderful to keep a Secret Diary to record one’s innermost thoughts. I wish Mudgal had spared Sundar, he was the IPL king, ask Meiyappan and Raj Kundra. Come to think of it, if only they had changed their names to Meiyaraman and Raj Raman, Mudgal would have ignored them. Poor Mei. Rather than tell a mei (truth) he should have told a poi (lie) and would have escaped. By the way, tell me which south Indian Brahmin father-in-law does not have a soft corner for his mapillai (son-in-law)?

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 [AT] gmail [DOT] com

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