February 21, 2020
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Laloo Mutter Bheja Fry

Laloo Mutter Bheja Fry
Laloo Mutter Bheja Fry
  • A Japanese delegation visits Bihar and discovers far more prospects than Buddha tourism. The head of the delegation makes Laloo Yadav an offer he thinks Laloo cannot refuse: Give us Bihar for a month, he says, and we will turn it into Japan. Laloo shrugs, clears his throat into a spittoon and says: "But what's the big deal? Give me Japan for just a week and I will turn it into Bihar."

  • Laloo discovers the ultimate solution to the Kashmir problem. This is the age of buy-one-get-one-free, he says, so let Pakistan take Kashmir and it will get Bihar for free. Pakistan declines the offer, formally forsakes claims on Kashmir.

  • Rabri Devi arrives, surprise-surprise, in heaven and finds the walls of the entrance hall full of clocks. "Why so many?" she asks and the angel at the reception tells her heaven has a clock to record the lies of each person; every time a person lies, the hands move. One of the clocks hasn't moved and Rabri is told it is Mahatma Gandhi's. Another has moved only thrice in the last century and that is Abe Lincoln's. Yet another clock strikes every now and then and Rabri is told that his Atal Behari Vajpayee's and she is duly pleased. Then she comes across one that is whirring away breakneck and she wonders who that one could belong to. "That is for Laloo Yadav," the angel tells her, "we use it as a ceiling fan."

  • Laloo Yadav goes to London for the first time and is offered a tour of the Underground by his hosts. "I always knew," he slaps his loins and says, "I always knew there would be something at which we are better than you goras." A little flummoxed, his hosts ask whether Bihar has acquired an Underground and Laloo says: "Of course, of course, but we have banned the entire underground whereas you are still living with it."
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