August 01, 2020
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I, Me, Mine

Because the young, urban male has finally learnt how to play

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I, Me, Mine
I, Me, Mine

The findings of the Outlook-Moods Opinion Poll 2009 on the sexual mindsets of urban Indian men in the 24-34 years age group have scored a goal. The word ‘change’, optimistically tossed around in the playground of sex surveys for years, is now officially the captain of the game. Acceptance of male-female equality has coupled with the male ego to give birth to the Beta Male. Not the dominating, growling, impatient bedroom partner but a clever young man, quickly aroused and usually satiated. He now understands that sex, like anger, politics or the handling of a TV remote control needs some strategy, some fair play. When needed, he can be the indulgent son, the amused boyfriend, the tolerant spouse, the experimental lover.

If the Beta Male sounds like an underrated aside of master strategist Lord Krishna, then, well, you are beginning to get the picture. He is a player, not a loser. He likes his women “Western with Indian values”, and while monogamous, intimate relationships fuel him most, he is open to one-night stands too. His girlfriends should be emotionally and financially independent, but they shouldn’t be impatient about dropping their panties. He will sleep with his female boss for promotions but is still obsessed with his woman’s virginity. The Beta Male is having fun in a threesome fantasy titled I, Me, Mine.

If given a chance, for which of the following reasons would you sleep with a female boss?
Professional gains (promotion or better salary etc) 33
Feeling of power 14
Just for fun 31
Show off your influence among peers 4
Won’t sleep with a female boss 18

What do you think of women who quickly agree to sex for pleasure without hang- ups?
I prefer those who show some restraint 22
I see them as having low character 22
I get turned on by them 21
I’m not turned on by such women 12
They want to satisfy themselves 21

50% men in Nagpur wear the latest fashion, 25% prefer one-night stands, 92% insist on contraceptives during sex and 82% believe free communication on sexual issues indicates a perfect sexual relationship.


What kind of sexual relationships do you look forward most to?
Monogamous and intimate 71
One-night stands 19
Orgies 5
Partner-swapping 5

What do you think women find most attractive in men?
Money and power 24
Good height and physique  18
Confidence, communication abilities 16
Machismo 7
Polite behaviour 9
Successful career 15
Intelligence 5
Good sense of humour 7

What kind of women do you find sexually most attractive?
Modern but with Indian values 59
Westernised and independent attitude  26
Conservative with Indian traditions 16

How important is oral sex to you during an encounter?  
Extremely important 31
Somewhat important 33
Neutral 17
Somewhat not important 9
Extremely not important 10

What is a perfect sexual relationship? (multiple response)
Both partners satisfying each other 64
Frequent sex 35
Experimentation, sexual creativity 35
Freely communicating on sex 42

How important is it to satisfy your sexual partner?  
Extremely important 76
Somewhat important 16
Neutral 7
Somewhat not important 0
Extremely not important 0

32% Lucknow men said they were sexually attracted to
Westernised women with an independent attitude.


What differences do you perceive between women of your generation and of one generation ago?
Now, girls are independent and have few emotional problems 29
Now, girls are aggressive, demanding  26
Now, they are sexually very open and initiate sex 23
Now, girls think they know everything, that’s a big turn-off for me 9
All of the above 12

Do you insist upon having sex with your girlfriend so that you can know each other better? 
Yes 51
No 49 

Do you agree that a woman's virginity has nothing to do with a sexual relationship and it is time we stopped making a big deal out of it?
Strongly agree 39
Somewhat agree 31
Neutral 14
Somewhat disagree 7
Strongly disagree 9

What is the most important reason for masturbating?
The absence of a sexual partner 53
Does not require as much physical effort as sex 9
Don’t find partner attractive anymore 5
Partner not sexually interested 5
Safer than having paid sex 13
Helps to relieve stress 9

Do you think men and women should have the same sexual rights and freedom?
Yes, they should have equal sexual freedom 60
No, we can never be equal and women should remember this 19
Men should have more freedom 10
Depends on the kind of woman she is 11

What do you most fantasise about when having sex with your partner?  
I don't fantasise about anything during sex 54
About any other woman 14
About group sex or such kinky scenario 6
I try to remember better sexual encounters with my partner 26

If you had a chance to have sex with a woman but at the cost of losing the friendship of a good friend, would you?
Will prefer friendship 66
Have sex 22
Don’t know 12

37% Chandigarh men and 26% from Patna said they masturbated
because it helped them relieve stress!


What do you do to have an interesting sexual life?
Try different role-plays and positions with the same partner 58
Try to have multiple partners 17
Use sex toys 5
Change locations 20

Can a marriage survive even if there is unsatisfactory sex between the couple?
No it cannot 47
Yes, it can 27
If other adjustments are good, it does not matter 20
Don’t know/Can’t say 5

87% Bangalore men admitted to having had paid sex at least 1-2 times whereas the 10-city average was only 27 per cent!

What would you do to improve sexual performance?
Maintain physical fitness 62
Take sexual performance pills 10
Improve knowledge about my partner's sexual preferences  20
Reading books/audio/visuals for performance tips 8

Which factor in your girlfriend/wife turns you off?  
Extreme possessiveness 28
Financial independence 16
Wearing revealing clothes 16
Emotional cribbing and crying 16
Excessive aggression 10
Interference in my life and nagging 15

61% of Bangalore men admitted to premarital sex,
having 1-2 partners before marriage. 

Rate the importance of sex in your life
Extremely important 57
Somewhat important 29
Neutral 11
Somewhat not important 2
Extremely not important 1

Do you think it is important for your ego to perform well in bed?
Yes  61
No   30

Which physical characteristic in women attracts you most?
Shapely figure 38
Prominent breasts 31
Prominent butt 11
Fair skin 12
Navel 3
Big eyes 5

All figures in percentage

(Survey conducted by MDRA in Gurgaon, Chandigarh, Lucknow, Ahmedabad, Patna, Nagpur, Guwahati, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kochi from November 14 to 23. Sample size: 1,088 adult males in 24-34 age group. Figures have been rounded off, so percentages may not add up to 100.)


The Outlook-Moods Sex Survey was done by Marketing and Development Research Associates (MDRA). A randomly chosen sample of total 1,088 adult males in the age group of 24–34 years were surveyed in ten Indian cities—Gurgaon, Chandigarh, Lucknow, Ahmedabad, Patna, Nagpur, Guwahati, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kochi.

A structured questionnaire was administered to the respondents by trained investigators of MDRA in a one-to-one interview. The field survey was conducted between November 14 and November 23, 2009. The socio-economic class of the sample size was SEC A1, A2 and B1. A total number of 713 men surveyed lived in nuclear families while 375 belonged to joint families. Out of these 532 were married and living with spouse; 41 were married but living without spouse. A total number of 193 were unmarried but in a committed relationship whereas 322 were neither married nor in a committed relationship.

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