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'I Am Preparing Myself To Meet God'
Wa'el was the nom de guerre of a young Palestinian whom Outlook's Pinhas Inbari met in a militant camp in Nablus, about two years back. He was then training to become a suicide bomber. Wa'el, though, was killed by the Israeli security before he could fulfil his mission. Excerpts from the interview, which provides an insight into the mind of a would-be bomber.
When was it exactly that you decided to become a martyr?
After I joined the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, I used to permanently live in hiding. One day I returned home to find my little brothers in a state of panic. The night before, the Israeli soldiers had visited them. All our furniture was broken. At that moment I decided to become a martyr.
Didn't you have second thoughts?
No. After my decision I am 'dead alive'. The environment around me is all about death. I am in a state of 'martyrdom'. I pray, I'm preparing myself to meet God. Martyrdom is a nice dream. I wish for it more than I wish for life.
You are young; a whole life is ahead of you.
There is not much to look for in this world. The life here in the refugee camp (Balata) is depressing.
Don't you have dreams other than death and martyrdom?
No. What I only dream of is martyrdom. The Israelis have left us no option. We are in a big prison. No economy. No jobs. No movement. A lot of people are killed in the streets. If we have to die, why not take them with us? I can go to Paradise. It is better to be in Paradise than to be here.
What about the innocent people you are going to kill?
We are against killing innocent people. But what else can we do? How can we put an end to the occupation? How else can we return to normal life?
How will all this end?
The only end is the removal of occupation. Then we shall start to dream of life.