NEWS: A Christmas nativity tableau at Madam Tussaud's depicted soccer star David Beckham and his popstar wife Victoria as Joseph and Mary, parents of Jesus. President Bush, Prime Minister Blair and the Duke of Edinburgh were shown as the Three Wise Men. This depiction provoked strong criticism from church authorities. On Christmas Day 2004, as all establishments remained closed, this was the scene inside Madam Tussaud's.
The Three Wise Men stood by the manger in which the infant slept. Mary and Joseph looketh at them with wonder and Mary sayeth: "How did you guys get here?"
And the First Wise Man looketh at Mary and sayeth: "Star told us, kid."
And since Mary knoweth not what the First Wise Man sayeth, the Second Wise Man spake thus: "He means Murdoch—there's no Fox TV in the east you know, he's only got Star TV there."
Then the First Wise Man, bending over the infant, sayeth: "Remember little feller, if they ain't with ya, they're against ya!"
And the Second Wise Man, shaking his rear from side to side, sayeth: "Woof! Woof!" Then the Third Wise Man sayeth: "I say, jolly good advice, what?"
And then Mary, since her soul was troubled by dark thoughts, did look at Joseph and sayeth: "After the baby I hope your eye stops roving!"
Then Joseph comforteth Mary and sayeth: "Honest luv, now on I play only left out in the field!"
The First Wise Man blesseth Mary and sayeth: "You done a good job of procrastination, kids!"
The Third Wise Man doth whisper: "Umm. You mean procreation."
"Whatever!" the First Wise Man sayeth.
The Second Wise Man sayeth: "Woof!"
Then the Third Wise Man with sorrow sayeth: "Umm...a pity those church chaps are squawking, what? I mean, we haven't done anything wrong, have we?"
Then the brow of the First Wise Man did darken with wrath and he speaketh thus: "Why in tarnation can't priests stick to their own business! Their business is Christianity, right? We here are trying to create the Anti-Christ, right?"
"Umm," sayeth the Third Wise Man.
"Woof!" sayeth the Second Wise Man.
Meanwhile, up there God watched the scene. He turned to Jesus and said. "They are up to mischief again. You had better go down." Jesus sighed. "Again?"
And so, thanks to George Bush, it shall come to pass that in flesh or in spirit Jesus once more will descend on earth to set things right. A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
(Puri can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org)