O.G. Kakade

I do have an official diary for my directorial thoughts and programmes. But more important is the Secret Diary to jot down items which cannot be accommodated in the official diary. For example, within the Veermata Jeejabai Technological Institute, Mumbai, I am called ‘Kadak Kakade’ because I am a strict bloke who brooks no nonsense. I am in the news these days because I abolished all ‘special’ days, even the word ‘special’. That includes the special filter coffee served in the collage canteen. It took some guts to take such a step in coffee-loving Matunga but then I am ‘Kadak’ Kakade.

Maybe I was different in the past when I hummed even English songs like Roses remind me of Rio and Hindi hits like Gulabi aankhen jo teri dekhi. Both had a lot to do with roses which are a symbol of love. Now as VJTI director I cannot afford students to roam about singing love songs or celebrate ‘Rose Day’ when boys and girls exchange roses. Have they come here to study engineering or exchange roses? I had to put my feet down on ‘Rose Day’, ‘Formals Day’, ‘Merry Day’ and so on.

Mind you, I am not a killjoy. But how can you run a leading technological institute where students roam around wearing Mughal emperors’ clothes holding roses in their hands searching for their Mumtaz Begums? We at VJTI want to produce an Einstein or a Bill Gates, not a Jehangir or Shah Jahan. On one ‘formals day’, members of a major placement team were scared away by students who chose to dress like ten-headed Ravanas.  Later they explained they would have 10 solutions to each problem. But the team was not impressed!

How can I run the institute when most of the days were devoted to all sorts of youth festivals, leaving no students in the classes? Professors could not complete their syllabus. In full costumes, the students went to the near-by Five Gardens where the regulars were startled by the sudden takeover of the premises by Kejriwals, Gandhijis, Aurangazebs, Florence Nightingales, Billy the Kids, Marilyn Monroes and so on. Some of the junior professors wanted s to join the fun, dress up in formals, hold roses and then take lectures outside the class rooms. The students would love it, they argued, and we could complete  our courses on time. But I have an image problem. Do I have to reinvent myself as ‘Mulayam Kakade’ and drop the old title, Kadak Kakade? Anyway, I have to lead the way for this mighty change. Thank God, the Matunga Flower Market was close by, buying roses will not be difficult!

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com