Looking after the Universe is no joke. Which is why I keep 180-plus secret diaries, one for each nation on earth. They have to be secret because most of the diary entries are unpalatable, unnerving and unmentionable. Sorry to start this diary page with a denial. Ha, I don’t want to sound like a politician but I strongly deny ever wanting Narendra Modi to lead India. This was quoted by someone called Ashok Singhal in a media interview (“Even God wants him to lead”). I don’t like this recent trend of dragging in people, and hinting they wanted this thing or that. As the constitutional head of the universe, I cannot break the law of refraining from comments on the internal affairs of other regions, including Earth. I checked with my fellow gods and goddesses and other Heaven residents, but not one among them said they wanted Modi to lead. But Lord Yama told me in confidence he was studying the issue and would not mind this Modi bloke leading his region.