"Government for Gujarati snacks like dhokla, khakhra in canteen menu" screams the headline, jumping at me from the pink pages of a national business daily. Apparently, in a missive from Department of Personnel and Training to all 723 Central government canteens countrywide, a formal advisory has been issued to include these Gujarati delicacies in the daily menu mostly comprising till now oily favourites like samosa and patty, apart from "south Indian snacks" (the all-encompassing coinage that includes bonda, idli-vada, upma etc).
When such a significant policy change emerges directly from a PMO department, it is only natural that opinions are sharply divided. Some cynics, who needlessly bicker habitually, have already wondered whether the sarkar has nothing better to do, like DNA testing of confiscated meat samples suspected to be beef or other national priorities like deporting Greenpeace activists, banning more Ambedkar-Periyar forums and checking Teesta Setalvad's restaurant bills (#despitebeingawoman).
But I, for once, find myself in perfect agreement with a PMO policy directive for a variety of reasons, some of them explained below:
Health is wealth:
With fabulous GDP figures, #achchedin are already here. It is time to focus on individual citizens. What better than to tell them what to eat and how to breathe — pranayams anyway don't mix well with pakodas!
The introduction of "certain healthy, light and nutritious snacks" will boost universal health, thus adding even more wealth to the GDP, making it leap beyond China — they are anyway slated to go downhill, gorging on that sinful chowmein, which, as we know, is the root cause of rapes, eve teasing and loose morals.
My only cause for concern: Dhokla may necessitate some mandatory yoga postures like the pavan-mukt asana — imagine walking into a government office with everyone prone, clutching their knees, pushing them to their bellies, discussing avidly the sort of themes that were chhee-chhee pre-Piku! But, to the cynics who worry about the heavy air that may hang within sarkari offices, all I'll say is — if you can survive the Delhi pollution, how can you worry about offices full of flatulence?
Maximum government, Total governance:
Let's face it — we are lazy sods, mired in apathy about nation, society and self. We need to be told what to do, when and how. Vyakti rahega, tabhi samaj rahega, aur jagrut samaj sey hi desh banata hai! Clearly, for a nation and society to be robust, the individual must be too. A robust body is the very foundation of robust minds and morals. Do you now see the light? Then, stand up for your right!
Hamari sarkaar knows that we need clear, unambiguous messages or else we can easily go astray. As a film-maker, who understands the value of pithy, targeted and jumla-fied communication, here are some of my suggestions:
Bahut hui andey ki maar, ab ki baar khakra-achaar.
Badan kabhi na ho khokhla, jab roz khao dhokla
Bhool jao beef sister, kehtey hain Chief Minister
Be Indian, eat Indian: