Hassan Ali Khan

y friend Adnan Khashoggi (who, unlike me, had the benefit of a Stanford education) is a man of sharp intellect. I recall meeting him at his Marbella estate, Spain, in the ’80s. A party was on and Chateau Margaux (I don’t recall the exact vintage) was flowing like water. The guests included Hollywood celebrities and someone who looked like Rod Stewart the singer. Anyway, that aside, when I did manage to corner Adnan, I asked him about the hullabaloo in India about black money. Well, the then richest man in the world thought for a moment and pronounced: “Hassan, as the French painter Edouard Manet once said ‘Black is not a colour. Colour is a matter of taste and sensitivity.’ So you see, calling one kind of money black and the other white is just another example of discrimination.”

I considered this over some insanely expensive Almas caviar. “And, yes Hassan, let us not forget,” the great man continued, “what they call good money and bad money is all relative. Have you ever wondered why there is white money—because there is the black stuff around. The same goes with cops. Their raison d’etre is that there are bad guys. If not they would be out of jobs.” In retrospect, I must admit that confab altered my world-view. There was one sticking point that evening. How does one develop a liking for foul-tasting caviar? Someone suggested I have to cultivate a taste for it. Promptly, one of my assistants suggested: “Hassanbhai we could buy a plot near Khandala and cultivation ho jayega. Within six months.” 

Anyway, to get back to the point, much before this meeting with Adnan something equally historic had happened in 1977. Three lost souls who were then strangers to each other—Kashinath Tapuriah, Philip Anandraj and yours truly—went to see Amar Akbar Anthony (AAA).  Ten years later we met accidentally (or was it fate) at the Mahalaxmi Race Course. We instantly became friends and thus was formed the business trio ‘Kashinath, Hassan, Philip.’ And in true filmy style, we stapled our old movie tickets as a symbol of unity. We have been a close-knit trio ever since. Kashinath is a businessman in his own right. Yours truly knows all about horses, though I also deal in scraps (altercations, roughing up and trading abuses included). And Philip runs the Korma Sutra restaurant in Witikiton, Zurich. Try their Special Tandoori Mix 39.50 Francs (Rs 1,908) and see why Adnanji swears by it.

Finally let me clear all the canards dished out by the ED to the media. I never transferred money from Adnan Khashoggi’s account. The transaction was made on behalf of singer Adnan Sami on his ninth birthday. (’Twas his father’s gift to him).  And, I have nothing to do with any arms dealer, as alleged. A reference in my diary to alms dealer (Khashoggiji is a very charitable man) was mistaken for ‘arms’. As for my passion for Swiss francs—I love their watches, their cheese and chocolates. So why not their money? After all, one franc means Rs 48....

(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)