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14 April 2014 National wit’s end

Did You Hear That One?

All’s fair in love, war, and elections. No one escapes being the butt of jokes. A selection...
Illustrations by Sorit

Why did Kejriwal sue the halwai? Because the gulab jamun had neither gulab nor jamun.

For the first time in Indian elections, Congress and BJP are campaigning using the same slogan: “Congress ko vote doge to Rahul PM banega!”

Sonia: How was the interview, beta?
Rahul: Mom, all the questions were out of the syllabus.

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At an election rally, Narendra Modi shouts he will end inflation, get double digit growth, beat China as a regional power, end corruption, defeat terrorism and make India a superpower. Then he shouts out, ‘Ab ki baar...’ And the crowd shouts back..., ’PC Sorcar.’

Modi, tum sangharsh karo, hum AAP ke saath hain.

“Hey Sheila, wanna hear a joke?”
“Yes.”
“Delhi.”
“I didn’t get it.”
“Exactly.”

Do not get irritated if you receive blank calls on your phone. It is Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh campaigning.

L.K. Advani virus: This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.

Modi for Vision, Rahul for Division, Kejriwal for Television, Third Front for Confusion

Shall we replace all “U turn” signs in Delhi with images of Arvind Kejriwal and “No Horn” with Manmohan Singh?

Hey people, stop throwing ink at Arvind Kejriwal. It’s ‘India Inc’ that he complains about.

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Pramod Muthalik joins the BJP. Thrown out in a few hours. Dinakar Shetty joins Congress. Out in a day. Ram Sene hates parties. Now, parties hate Ram Sene.

Flash news! New opinion poll shows the Left will get ‘320’ seats and Prakash Karat will be PM. Here’s how the breakup goes: Kerala 3, Tripura 2, West Bengal 0. Isn’t that 320!

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