Trash Of The Fortnight

The Englishmen may give our Kohinoor back, for the Indian retribution is verysevere in the form of Navjot Singh Sidhu who has been paid to speak in English from thecommentary box for the series in Sri Lanka. Someone apparently has told him he’sbeing paid per word, for he often lets out long complex sentences in active voice, andthen repeats them in passive voice. Meanwhile, his Kiwi partner Martin Crowe tries hard toadd in his bit but Sidhu’s never quite finished. Our man not just states the obviouswith a lot of passion, but also seems to have read up many expressions from pavementbooks. There may be a growing number of people who put the TV in mute mode whenSidhu’s talking because how long can you hear him say things like "Oh that wassweetly timed, sweeter than Tutti-Frutti", or "Martin, Harvinder Singh hasreally begun well. As you know, a good lather is half the shave". And what does hemean when he says: "Ifs and buts are like pots and pans, there will be no tinkerswithout them", or "One-day is like fast food, nobody wants to cook".