Firstly it is extremely crucial that you try and understand what connection there may be between his losing interest in sex, his refusal to provide affection, and his alcohol problem and abusing his body. Maybe it’s a good idea to accompany him to his AA meetings and also try and find a support group where you can share your thoughts and fears as being a wife of a recovering alcoholic, since there is a lot of social stigma attached to this as well. Also while as a woman and wife you have every right to nurse physical urges, it might be better not to push him too much. Try being patient and support his recovery, rather than burden him with expectations. Once he has been sober for a while, begin to express your own angst and needs without blaming him or fault finding, then ask for something very specific, such as one hug every morning and every evening or maybe a date and dinner night once a month. Setting clear limits for him might create the encouragement he needs. Many men withdraw from sex because they feel inadequate; this maybe true for your husband – especially considering the effect alcohol can have on erectile potency, so he maybe scared that during actual sex he will fail in providing you sexual pleasure. Therefore it is imperative that you encourage having the important conversations about sex, touch, and physical pacifying – perhaps in a therapeutic and safe environment.